One of those days

It started weeks ago. I noticed that my wedding ring needed some attention by a jeweler. I took it off and put it someplace safe. I think. The truth is that the last time I clearly remember having it I was sitting in this chair looking at it. No memory after that. So I have been trying to pretend that I am not the least worried about it. I offered the kids a reward for finding it, but it hasn't motivated them to look very hard.

But what does that have to do with today? Well, Roland came and asked me for the car keys that he gave to Brian to give to me yesterday -- the car keys I did not have and do not remember having. Since these are the only keys we have to the car, it is really important that we find them. So we searched. And then we searched some more. And then we kept searching. I walked around in the back yard (where Brian was when Dad gave him the keys). The boys walked around in the back yard. We looked in and under the sofas. We cleaned every surface. We moved furniture.

The boys kept drifting off to do something else and I kept asking them to help again with that controlled voice that means I would really like to shake them until their heads fall off.

And then I went into the bathroom and cried because all these places where we were looking were places where my ring might be and if we weren't finding it I might not ever.

Brian found me, gave me a hug and when I said that I was sorry I was so upset he said, "It's okay Mom. You can be as upset as you want to be. You can be sad for as long as you feel sad." (Don't you love it when your kids give you back your words?)

I went to sit in my favorite chair to mourn the loss of my ring and contemplate the possibility of having to replace the door locks and the ignition in the new-to-us car so that we could drive it again. Evan came home and cheered me up by telling me about how he drove over a curb and might have scratched his car where you couldn't see it. I sat there amazed at the self-absorption of the young. Who else could respond to a woman who is crying about her lost wedding ring by saying, "That's terrible. Let me tell you what happened to my car."

I told Evan that he should tell Gary that this really is about as bad as it gets here. Evan said that it was not as bad as the time when I was carrying a 12-pack of soda and the cardboard tore and sodas went everywhere and I screamed (according to him) and stormed out telling him to pick them up. "When then fell I thought you threw them on the floor and I didn't know why you are so angry at me!"

Roland finally found the car keys next to the picnic table where everyone else had already looked for them. I cheered up a little and told Gary that I was sorry that he had to be here for all the drama. "This is nothing! This is a lot better than the group home!"

"Well, this is about as bad as it gets around here."

"Except for when you threw that case of soda at Evan" he said grinning.