Ann's Story Part 46: Trying to Explain

An email to my pastor in response to one from him saying, "I know things have been tense out there. I wanted to check in and see if you are all okay."

3/29/03

Ann has moved back with Mandy and John.

Things were getting steadily more difficult. Though I do think that there are too many girls at Mandy and John’s, Ann does love them and she wanted to go back. Anyway, the more Ann visited Mandy and John, the more defiant she became here. Last week Robin (director of social workers) called to say that they were going to call the state people who are in charge of Ann's case and talk to them about moving her back...sometime in the next few weeks. Monday night Roland took Ann to a meeting at the agency and Ann laid into him, totally unprovoked, in front of the social workers. It was quite a show. Ann was telling them that she was ready to do whatever she had to to force them to move her. Roland was quite hurt. He understands that she was trying to communicate to the social workers how much she wanted to go home, but he has never been anything but kind to her and it was difficult to take. The supervisor and director of the division told Roland that if she pulled something like that at home we were to pick up the phone, dial 911, tell them that we had a sick girl on our hands, and THEN call one of them to tell them whether she had been taken to the hospital or to the detention center.

Tuesday Robin called again and said that the particular state person who needed to approve of all this was out of the office and that she would call again Wednesday morning. I reminded Robin that I was supposed to leave at 2:00pm on Wednesday to get on a plane for a conference and that it would be difficult to do that if I thought they might move her while I was gone. She promised that that would not happen. Ann would go to respite as planned and then most likely move when I got back. I did tell her also that though it would be difficult for me, if they decided that it was best for Ann to move this week while it was her Spring Break then they should do that. I did want what was best for Ann.

Wednesday at 1:30pm Robin called to say that Ann moving back to Mandy and John’s...as of now. I hurried the boys into the car and drove over the suitcases that Ann had packed for her respite weekend. I cried and hugged her goodbye about 10 times. Mandy said that she really appreciated everything that I had done and said that I was still her aunt and that she thought it would be best for Ann if she could visit us often. By this time it was 2:10 and I dashed off to pick up Roland from his appointment and drive to the airport. I explained all this to him on the way. He said that he would manage everything...getting Ann's room packed and all her things moved. Everything.

I made half way to the airport. I did not go to the conference, and I am glad that I did not. The four of us needed some time together. I got Ann's room packed and cleaned...Roland and I moved everything over to Mandy and John’s. We are all still numb. Ann has said that she still wants to go to church with us, but I don't think we will invite her this first weekend. I want to re-build my relationship with her, but things got so awful the last couple of weeks that I think we all need some time.

When I dug this up I asked Roland if he remembered being told to call 911, because I did not remember anything about it. He said that he did remember and that I had not taken him seriously when he first told me about it.