Ann's Story Part 43: Feeling worn out & Ann's big scene

Monday morning
to the social worker:

So as you know from Mandy's email, Ann went over for dinner with Mandy and John on Sunday. She went about 4:30 and called me at 6:45 to ask if she could stay longer because dinner would not be done for half an hour. I suggested 7:30 and she complained that she would not get have enough time to eat. I said 7:45 and she said that dinner might not be ready until 7:30 and she would only have 15 minutes to eat. I said 8:00 and she complained very loudly that she needed more than 15 minutes to eat. I pointed out that dinner seemed to be taking longer to cook by the second, but that I really could not give her permission to stay past 8:00. She hung up in a huff. Mandy and John’s dropped her off, with food, at 7:40.

She said that Mandy told her not to blame us, but that to blame them (Mandy and John) and the social workers if she needed to blame anyone. I did appreciate that. Ann was a little bit more civil, but when she yelled at me for being silly again I told her to get over it...and realized how very tired of that I am.

I woke up this morning tired and I realized that I have hit that level of exhaustion that Robin warned you about. I quarreled with Roland this morning about how to handle things. Roland and I often confuse each other when we speak. Usually we laugh about it, but this morning I did not have the energy to do the work that is necessary to figure out what he meant (as opposed to what I understood) and to get him to understand what I mean (as opposed to whatever he understood).

Anyway, we agreed a while back that Roland would take her to her appointment at the the agency offices this evening, and I am glad that we did. I am not up to it.

Ruby, let's chat when we can. I realize that I am feeling so tired in part because I was counting on having every other weekend off. If the boys are going to cope with Ann until the end of the school year they need it, and I guess I will need it too. I know that lots of stuff is going on and I don't want to do anything rash. I think though that it would be a good idea to set up a schedule of respite for Ann...if not every other weekend then every third. I understand that there is a limit of respite days and that if we go over Roland and I pay for it. I am prepared for that.

It may be that everything will calm down again, that this weekend was just this weekend.

Later that evening
to my friend

...So that's what happened on Sunday. Robin called in the evening. She expressed concern that things were getting to be too much for us and the kids. I told her that I knew that this was not going to work permanently, but we were trying to manage until the end of the school year.

This evening Roland took Ann to her appointment at the agency. She threw a fit and verbally abused him. It was apparently quite the show. Robin and the division director told Roland that they feel she needs to be moved. She is escalating horribly and is likely to get worse. Unfortunately, they cannot think of anywhere that is better than our house, so they will probably move her back to Mandy and John’s. This is not final, but it may happen this weekend. It hard to believe.