Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Frankie's on-line posting

Yep...Frankie is now photo-listed.

I am nauseous.

I want to believe he can be adopted. I want to believe that there is the perfect family out there. The description is mostly true -- as far as it goes -- but it is not honest. Of course they never are. No diagnoses are mentioned. It says he has been in residential care since the fall of 2007 when the truth is that he has been in residential care since at least 2005 and spent 2 months in 2007 with a family.

It does not talk about his low threshold for frustration, or his lack of ability to read social cues, his tendency towards self-damage.

I don't see Frankie ever managing outside of a controlled environment.

How can they advertise him for adoption when he can't hold it together in a family for a couple of months?

Of course, maybe it was just that we were the wrong family. Maybe someone else would do better.

I hope so. For his sake.


  1. I can't imagine seeing a child in the galleries that I know with a crazy description. I too hope that he can find a home. :(

    Ann??? :)

  2. Wow. I read it. Knowing more of his story, I was able to pick it out from between the lines. But, in usual photolisting fashion, they completely skated over very big details. I hope everyone involved is being honest and realistic about his needs. Sometimes the call of the white picket fence family is too strong, even when it's not in the best interests of the child.

    I was matched with a boy from your state (I called him Boy Wonder on my blog). It all sounded great until I got the larger details about his history. In all of his foster homes and his disrupted adoption, he did miserably in small family units. Yet, in his one large foster home and residential he did great. Still, his SW was seeking that only-child family because she thought that was best. I couldn't understand that because EVERYTHING in his case file seemed to indicate that he did better in a larger family unit.

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