Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Well, my mom gave us all a scare this weekend. She fainted. I took her to the ER where they said she was severely anemic. Her blood pressure was also about 90 over 45. So she was admitted, scoped, and diagnosed with two ulcers.

I had Roland call United Airlines and ask how much it would cost to reschedule my trip. He gave them the full story and they did not charge anything. I am now coming back on the 11th.

That means 5 1/2 weeks away from the family. Roland misses me. I asked if the kids do, and he said, "Well... they keep really busy." That is fine. I am glad that are self-reliant. I am sure they would miss me more if Andrew weren't there cooking for everyone.

I don't know whether this will delay the adoption. The home study is finally complete. It took a while for Health and Welfare to get Andrew's back ground check to the social worker who was writing the thing. Now though it is done and all the other paper work is being done. The lawyer originally told us that we should be able to get a court about 6 weeks after everything was done.

Gary's birthday is less than 9 weeks away. At that point, we won't need a home study anymore.

Thursday, July 22, 2010


Those of you who have adopted, do you know if I put Gary on my insurance, does that mean he loses eligibility for the state insurance?

If anyone has any ideas here, it would be welcome. Thanks.

Friday, July 02, 2010

Gary's last name -- call for help

Gary is still debating what he wants to do about his last name. He is thinking about taking our last name, but still isn't quite ready for that. We had previously explored the idea of finding a name that honored his American Indian heritage. He doesn't know anything about it. All his mother told him is that his genetic father was Blackfoot. Of course that is a nation with more than one tribe and more than one language.

Last night I shared an idea with him. Our family name is means "night watchman." It is a occupation name. In the distant past, my husband's ancestors spent their nights walking the town ready to wake everyone up if there was a fire, or whatever. Anyway, I ask Gary what he thought about trying to find a Blackfoot word that meant something like "night watchman." It doesn't have to be that exactly. A word meaning "sentry" or "guard" would be fine. He liked it.

The problem though is obvious. Though we have found internet sites with lists of words, none of them are what we are looking for. And we would very much prefer to talk to someone who has some expert knowledge of the language.

So, anyone out there have any resources? How do we find someone who actually knows something about one or more Blackfoot languages who can help us?

My birthday party!

Last night Evan and David came over for the official dinner celebrating my birthday. It was, as always, a delightful time. Of course it would be lovely if Carl could have been there too. One of the best things about the adoption is that we will be bringing him in and I will get to hang with all of them at one time.

Last night there were several moments when the conversation was typical wacky for us and I thought, "Oh, I should remember that exchange and blog it." This morning of course it is all gone. I remember no specifics. Oh, well, I do remember the conversation about people getting old which included debate about whether my memory was being affected. I admitted to loss of hearing and grey hairs, but insisted my memory was this bad when I was 20.

Evan gave me a flowering plant that is grows in arid places. It isn't quite a cactus, but it doesn't need much water. The woman at the florist assured him that, other than cacti, it was the least killable plant she sells.

Of course that lead to debate over whether I killed three or four batches of sea monkeys. (Three. Word to the wise, they don't leave them in the window in the sun, next to the stove, or aerate them with an old medicine dropper. Especially the last one. It's really bad when you have to tell your kid that though you kept your promise and didn't move his sea monkeys, you did accidentally poison them.)

I guess I do remember a chunk of it. I love having them all together.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Saying "No" to Helen

We were officially asked if we want to be considered as a placement for Gary's sister, Helen. I talked with everyone in the family. They boys are willing to share a room if Helen really needs us. Roland however is emphatic that the house is full. When I tell him that Brian and Gary say they will share he responds by saying, "We are out of room."

He says that very slowly and emphatically. You know, like he thinks I didn't pay attention the last dozen times he said it. I've tried reasoning with him, explaining that we can make more room. He detailed argument in response is:

"We. Are. Out. Of. Room."

Those of you who have been around a while know that Roland is rather single-minded but not inflexible. He is an emotional/relationship based thinker, and while I will spend all my time in the grey area contemplating options, Roland is where he is until he is somewhere else. So though right now he won't even discuss the possibility of Helen coming here, when he perceives her as having lots of options, he would flip to the other side if he ever thought she really needed us.

What we are telling everyone is that we want to make Helen part of our extended family. We would like for her to be here for extended visits. One reason is of course so that she and Gary have some normal sibling time (you know, living in the same house and not necessarily doing the same thing). The more important reason, for me, is that she get comfortable with us as a family.

We are adopting her brother. I don't know how to categorize or label that relationship, but I do feel like she will be part of the family too. Permanently. I want her to know that.

And I know that some of you are wondering if we might adopt her too. The answer is that I am very open to that possibility, if it turns out to be what is best for her. I can easily imagine a future in which we do an adult adoption. Whether that is the future remains to be seen.

Oh, and though I don't know how I would react to needs from the other boys' siblings, I don't intend to try to foster the same sort of relationship with them. Most of them have permanent families of their own, in many cases that family is their first (biological) one.

The End (of the Blog) in Sight

Yep, this blog is going to end.

Sort of.

I am planning a concluding post that I will put up after the adoption, which I am hoping happens in August. If I find I still have things to say after foster care or adoption, I will post them here.

For those of you who for whatever mysterious reasons are interested in the rest of my life, I'm blogging here: Yondalla's Ramblings.