Ann's Story Part 44: A Sudden Decision

3/26/03, 10:00 am

Robin,
Roland last night was kidding around about the possibility that you would not find any respite site for Ann at all. I thought there was a little genuine anxiety about it, so I told him that I would not leave if that should happen. I have complete confidence that you will find someone, but would you call me when you do? Thanks again for taking care of things while Ruby is out of town.

Same day 6:00pm
to my friend

Hi. Robin called me this morning as I was scrambling to get ready to leave on the trip. I had the car packed and was just gathering up the last few things. Ann's suitcase for respite was packed. I was going to leave in an hour.

Robin said they had decided that Ann would move back in with Mandy and John ... starting now.

I got Ann, told her she was not going to a respite placement, she was going home. "For how long?" "Permanently."

I cried when I left her, of course.

Then I got to Roland just in time for him to rush me to the airport to get the plane. As we drove I tried to explain to him what happened, but I'm not certain I know. We got halfway to the airport and I realized I just could not get on the plane. I am so exhausted. Roland said he feels like he was emotionally raped. Her room will need to be packed up and I can either help him do it tomorrow or do it when I should be teaching. He said actually that he would do it on his own while I was gone, but somehow I just couldn't go.

I want to curl up and whimper for a day or so. Then I will have a good cry and go to sleep.

Ann is gone. Tomorrow I will pack all of her things and take them to Mandy and John's.

She's just gone.