Sunday, August 19, 2007

Thanks to Islay and Annonymous

Nice to know I have more lifeguards.

I really appreciate the experience of gay men who comment on this blog. And Islay, it was really good to hear from a contemporary teenager who did not come out fully to him herself at age 12.

I hear so much about how much younger kids are coming out, and the other three boys had all come out to friends and social workers, at least, before coming to me, so Frankie is a new experience. I should go on the record saying that I do not believed I have answered his quesitons for him. Frankie is not here because he is believed to be a closeted gay boy; he is here because people believe he needs a safe place to figure things out for himself.

The only thing that Frankie currently identifies as is a Druid.

And, as I seem to be saying quite a bit lately, that's okay too.


  1. That's okay. It's kind of weird to be offering 'advice' to a grown up here (I read your blog because I want to do foster care when I'm older - and I'm also off to help out in an orphanage in Thailand for six months in November), but if it's helpful.

    Frankie may well be in the stage where he is trying to work out the difference between what he wants to want, and what he WANTS. There are a lot of confusing steriotypes and labels about what it is to be non-straight in the media today, and he is likely confused because, being an actual, real, 3D person, he does not conform to any of these steriotypes. But if he's gay, it'll come to him, one way or another. So long as he knows that you wont be hostile if he tells you he is gay, he will tell you when he is ready to. It took me a little under two years to tell my mum, after I knew. Not because I was worried about how she would react, but because I needed that time to really become comfortable in my own skin.

    I might also point out that if Frankie is even a teeny tiny bit bisexual (and I am a teeny tiny bit bisexual myself) he will be even MORE confused, because every now and again he may come across a girl who sparks his attention - which is just about enough to make him think 'but I CAN'T be gay', even if almost every pretty boy on the street makes him want to melt, which can be really, REALLY confusing.

    But yeah. Frankie will be fine, as far as his sexuality is concerned - because you guys are accepting, and that is the absolute best thing that you could be. Whatever else you do, startig with being cool about it is the best gift you can give a gay kid. (Trust me. My mum's line on my sexuality is 'I don't care who you bng back for dinner, so long as you pass your exams'. I couldn't ask for more.)

    Sorry, ramble. Also, I should point out - I'm a girl. ;)

  2. Um...sorry about the gender mistake. Sigh. It's so difficult to tell these days. Of course if I had clicked on your screen name and went to your site...

    Please feel free to give your perspective to the grown ups. We need it.

    And thank you again.


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