Friday, September 29, 2006

Lifeguards on Duty

Bacchus of Family of Choice mentioned this blog. I love it when people mention my blog. I feel all warm and fuzzy. (Of course I am waiting for the day when I get mentioned on some conservative site and the hate mail starts coming).

ANYway, since I have been talking about taking the blog private I have been getting emails from regular readers (that is SO cool). Several are gay men.

Now this may be hard for me to explain well, but I can't tell you how comforting it is to know that there are gay men who read this blog.

See, I hope to help my boys to grow up to be responsible, caring, healthy gay men (well...not my straight know what I mean). Having some around to keep an eye on things and give me perspective when I need it makes me feel better.

It's like you have been trying hiking through unknown territory and doing okay, but often being uncertain, and then suddenly find out that there are people who know the land who have been keeping an eye on you. Or maybe it is like swimming nervously in the ocean and then suddenly seeing the sign, "Lifeguards on duty."

I don't want to make my readers nervous, make them feel like they are responsible for me, but I want you to know that I am really, really glad you are all there.

It reminds of a story...

When Carl moved into our home at the beginning of summer. He had been out to only a few friends and when he went back to school he decided to come out. He bought and wore make-up. The social worker thought it was absolutely inappropriate and must be stopped. She thought he was would provoke hostility. Hubby thought it would provoke ridicule. I was a new foster parent, and had never been a parent to a teen and was really uncertain. I wrote a long email to the leader of the youth group for GLBT kids (who happens to be a gay man). It went on and on, but ended with, "I keep wondering if we are blowing this out of proportion. Would it be better just to ignore it?"

His response was, "Yes."

There were so many times when he gave me this sort of calm, reassuring feedback. "Don't worry about this. It's normal." A couple of times he did warn me that a kid was acting out in ways that worried him, and more than once he clued me in to the fact that I was being conned. He is not a parent, but I am a much better parent because of him.

When I started the blog I wanted a place to pour out all the things that I think and worry about and I believed I thought I could be helpful to others.

I had no idea how much support I would receive.

Thank you all.


  1. Ok I can be a lifeguard but do I get to have one of those really cute bodies that are tanned? LOL Well I'll just settle for a whistle and a chair on the beach.

  2. Bacchus, you're too funny. I enjoy the few gay parenting blogs I read.

    Partly because of what you said, Beth, and partly it reinforces what I already believe.

  3. Bacchus, I can't give you a cute little, tanned body, but I promise that I will imagine you already have one!


Comments will be open for a little while, then I will be shutting them off. The blog will stay, but I do not want either to moderate comments or leave the blog available to spammers.