Saturday, September 09, 2006

Worried and uncertain

I keep composing and deleting posts. I'm not sure what exactly I want to say. More accurately, I am not sure how to say what I want to say in ways that are respectful of Evan's privacy and not in terribly bad taste.

Here is the short, vague version:

Evan's behavior in the house is fine, and he is still going to school and work. He is officially within all boundaries.

He is also engaging in behavior which I regard as high-risk in every possible way. I don't know if it is (just) stupid teenager mentality that makes him think he can play with fire and not get burned, or if it is more than that. Certainly the stress related to his mother leaving prison is part of the equation.

I don't know what to do about it.

I don't know if I should continue my Al-Anon acceptance of what I cannot control, or if I should "lay down the law." I don't know if "laying down the law" would work. I don't know if in refraining from confronting him I am merely being afraid of confrontation, or if I am being wise.

I don't know if I should report it to the social worker. Well, actually, I am pretty sure that I should. It's just now I wish Evan had an older, wiser social worker and not a sweet young thing.

The only person in the world whom I completely trust to guide me here is the counselor whom Evan and I share, and she is out of town for another week.

I am considering leaving her a voice mail. I have her cell phone number. "Evan is doing X. Should I freak out now?"

update: just after clicking "publish" Evan came by and asked if I would take him shopping at the drug store. Thank God. His behavior has been risky in more ways than one, but at least his is planning on minimizing one set of risks.


  1. I don't know if I should continue my Al-Anon acceptance of what I cannot control, or if I should "lay down the law."

    Do you think these are totally antithetical to one another?

    Hang in there... Hope some less stressful times are in store for your family.

  2. Courage to change the things I can?

    Wisdom to know the difference?

    The last part has always given me the most problems.

    I certainly had some frank (and slightly embarrassing) chats with Tim when he was a teen and then I had to let it go.

    Of course my position was different. He wasn't a foster child.


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