Evan back from the prison ceremony

Evan got back home in the middle of the afternoon. I had expected him to be with his family longer, but it looks like no one planned a party or anything for his mother. There was the ceremony at the prison, for all the women who had completed the 15 month rehab program. Then they got a fast lunch, and went home.

His mother is staying with abusive-boyfriend's mother for a while. She is telling Evan that she has no interest in abusive-boyfriend, but he is not sure whether to believe that.

He thinks baby sister will be staying with the guardian until mom gets settled, but he does not know for certain.

Anyway, he seems to have survived the day okay. He did tell me that someone pulled in front of them, causing them to slam on their breaks. Evan rolled down his window and yelled and made obscene gestures. The driver of the other vehicle responded in kind. They both ended up outside of the cars behaving in threatening ways. Evan one the face-off, being bigger and more intimidating. No blows were thrown.

Evan tells us these stories asking for our perspective on them. I wonder how the various father-figures in his life have responded to Evan's periodic outbursts of temper. Did they think it showed he was a man? Were they torn between being proud and thinking that they should not encourage it?

We of course are not torn. We are gentle, but we tell him that such behavior is not acceptable. We try to communicate that there are better ways to solve problems.

It is interesting to note that Evan has told us three stories in which he acted in ways that could have had him arrested for assault. In every case he perceived himself as coming to the defense of someone weaker and helpless. Yesterday he said all he was thinking was that his baby sister was in their car and that guy could have got her hurt.