Sunday, September 03, 2006

Constant combat

Lately Evan has been quarrelsome. Hubby says that I am not imagining it. Evan really is ... it is hard to find a word for it. The conversations hardly make sense.

Last night my computer was giving me grief and I ran a spyware detection program. Evan said, "Your memory is running slow." I said, "Well, spyware has slowed it down before, but you're right. This computer has a lot of problems." Then Evan said, "OH COME ON. You have to give me this. You have to allow my authority here."

Say what?

Today we were driving to his interview (he got the job). Before we got in the car I asked Brian if he would like to go along and we could run an errand while Evan was in the interview. Brian said no, and in the car Evan said, "Are you going to run an errand while I'm in there?" "I thought I might." "Why can't you just wait?!" "I don't have anything to do." "Couldn't you have brought a book!!!" "Evan, when you are done call me and I will come get you." "GAWD! I hate arguing with you."

Do these conversations sound bizarre to anyone else?

Now the interview thing I would just leave out, except that it seems to be a really good example of my interactions with him the last few days. Evan is arguing with me, even when I am not arguing with him. I don't even have to say anything. Really.

Earlier his cell phone made a strange buzzing noise. I looked over confused because I did not know what the noise was at first. Evan said, "Oh you are not going to tell me that was too loud! I put it on vibrate for you. I will not let you get on my case for that. So leave me alone."

"Evan, do you realize that I didn't say anything?"

"Yeah. But you were going to. I just got you first."

"I was not going to complain about the noise."

"Oh yes you were. You can't deny it. I know what you were going to say. You just won't admit it because I had a good response."

I did not respond. There were two options here: I could either let him think he won a non-existent argument or I could have an actual argument about what I would have said had he given me a chance. I let him think he won the non-existent one.

I am getting so tired. Nearly all of our interactions are like this. I am beginning to look forward to getting back to work.

There are possible explanations:
1. Evan and I have just been spending too much time together. Everyone else started school on Monday and we have been alone together most of the time all week.
2. Evan is stressed because we are on that last leg of the placement. He is beginning to make definite plans for leaving and it is so much easier to fight with me than to deal with the real emotions.
3. Evan is stressed because his mother is getting out of prison on Thursday and she has cornered him into attending her "graduation" whether he wants to or not.
4. Evan is beginning to use again and these bizarre conversations are the result of an addled brain.

Did I mention about her getting out of prison? She called last week and told him when and where to be. When he said that he was not certain that he could make it she said he had to. She had already listed him as the chaperon for his younger sister and if he did not go then his sister could not go. Evan's mom also told him that he "had" to buy her some street clothes and bring them along because all of her things are at the boyfriend's and there is a warrant out for his arrest so he can hardly bring clothes to the prison, can he?

Sigh. I will practice deep breathing exercises and try not to play this game. We will see what happens.

Evan has to go into The City tomorrow for orientation for the job. Since it is Labor Day Hubby has the day off and says he will take him. Evan and I could certainly use the time off from each other.

1 comment:

  1. They sound like many of the "discussions" I have with Elcie but she's only 13.

    Defensive isn't he.


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