Thinking about leaving for vacation

We are about to go to Maine. We go every summer. It is on the water, north of Bar Harbor. It is two weeks on peace and calm: waves crashing on the beach; juvenille bald eagles (I don't know why we rarely see the adults); the occassional seal. Once we had to stop the car for a moose crossing. It is 20 minutes to the bad grocery store. 45 minutes to the first town that looks big enough to be considered a town.

It would even be possible for me to go to a Naranon meeting....it would only be 1 hour 20 minutes away. (The closest is 7+ hours from here). I might even give it a try...maybe Hubby and the boys will make the drive and go to a movie or something.

At the cottage though the cell phone does not work and there is no internet service. I can ask my father-in-law if I can go into his study and use his computer, but I would only do that for something quick. No more leisurely reading blogs and writing mine. (Well for two weeks). But, though I love you all, who needs blogs when you are sitting on a deck watching the tide come in and waiting for the next batch of cookies to be done?

So why am I posting this?


evan is staying here. Alone. In my house. Yep. I am going to go far away and leave a currently-not-using codeine addict alone in my house.

My husband is testimony to the claim that not everyone needs a 12-step program. He has never been near one in his life. He asks me what I am worried about, "Let's see...that he will start using again. His new dealer friend will realize that he is alone in the house and will trade the drugs for the right to set up a meth lab in our kitchen and will blow the house up." Hubby's response, "That's why we have insurance."

And of course there is the regular sorts of anxiety...what do teenagers do when the parental types go out of town? Dear God...it's going to be a two week long party and sex orgy. Every gay boy in two counties will be hanging out in my house. Maybe I should put a new lock on my bedroom door. Maybe I should tell then neighbors that if there are any loud parties I want them to call the cops. Hubby's response, "Evan doesn't even like parties; and do you really care if he has sex while we are gone? He's 18. Whether he is having sex or not is his business." (No...I don't care if he is having sex...just not in my bed. That's gross.)

So I hired the same kid I have hired before to come over and feed the animals. Evan said he would do it, but I will worry. I own that. That is what I need so that I will not worry about the dog, two cats, two rats, and the toad.

He still does not have a driver's license. So he will have to walk to school and work. He will be given rides to counseling and relapse prevention group. If he does not show up at those meetings someone there will call a social worker (not his...his has the audacity to be getting married and going on a honeymoon while I am out of town) and the social worker will drop by and check on him. Why exactly are we doing this? I don't know. I suggested it to the social worker. She said she thought it was a great idea. It is making us all feel happier and less anxious.

I told him that I would stock the kitchen with food for him and that if he saved the receipts for any groceries (ingredients, not pre-prepared foods) that he bought while I was gone I would reimburse him. "Will you remind me?" "No." "But I might forget!!" "Evan, honey, it's not important to me that you remember. If you forget, I don't have to pay."

So I have been going to Al-Anon, working the steps, and generally getting better at not controlling, not obsessing, "letting go and letting God", all that stuff.

I look at this plan and I think there are two possible responses
1. Wow. Look how far she has come! Of course there is still some anxiety there, but what progress she has made.
and
2. WTF??? Has this 12-Step sh*t turned her into a complete IDIOT? Somebody quick...do an intervention!

next on Evan