"My Friend"

Christy asked if I could saying anything about the friend to whom I write all these emails. I need a name for her. You know what, her real name is so common I am just going to use it. It is Mary.

Mary and I met in high school. I was a stand-offish child. I generally felt like I was watching myself when I interacted with my peers, never quite fully engaged. It wasn't until I was in high school that I relaxed and learned to have a little fun. Mary and I were friends.

She went to a large, liberal state univerisity and studied music. I went to a small Lutheran college in a state far away from home. We wrote each other long, long letters.

I got married immediately after graduation from college weeks before my 22 birthday. Mary got married a couple of years ago when we were about 40.

I had my first child when I was 26. Mary has no interest in children at all.

I have worked at one place for 14 years and will probably work there until I retire. Mary is a free-lance writer who only works for any one client as long as doing so fits her needs. I cannot imagine living without the security of my job; she cannot imagine living without the freedom of hers.

Mary and I wrote letters for a while after I got married, but we largely fell out of touch. Once we both had email though we got close again. After about 10 years of not talking to each other very often we started emailing almost every day.

Writing to Mary was helpful. Though I don't feel that I should publish her words here anymore than I absolutely have to to make sense of what I write to her, she is the one who will not hesitate to say, "Are you INSANE?"

She is also the one who reminded me when we were in high school I told her that I said that I might like one day to do foster care or adopting a lot of children but had dismissed it as an unlikely idea. I had completely forgot that.