David's Story Part 29: Summer of 2004

Much of 2004 was uneventful as far as living with David was concerned. There were issues every now and then. He did not do as well in school as he could. He failed to get along with an aide in his study skills class (that could be a big deal). I could see how he tended to see people as good or bad. It was like he was in many ways still that abandoned four-year-old boy. There were bad people in the world who hurt him and those he did not want to deal with, ever. There were also good people. Good people were those who failed to give him what he wanted/needed. I don't think he distinguished between what he needed and wanted.

David and the family rarely had any conflicts. He seemed to think our rules were reasonable. He liked us. He got along with everyone.

He and Andrew especially had a wonderful relationship. They could argue endlessly about nothing; and they were clearly both having a wonderful time. When we in an office waiting for someone they started arguing about where orchids grow (I probably shared this story several times). I stopped them and asked them if they realized what they were arguing about. Did they really think this topic was worthy of all that energy? They agreed it was a stupid thing to argue about and so agreed to find another topic. I don't know which they decided on, although I know they considered arguing about which cola was the best.

6/17/02

David's brother DB1 had his appointment yesterday with the supervisor at the agency for which I work. He is on his way into the program. His current H&W parents are being trained and will be licensed by the agency which will take two months or less. DB1 won't be officially in the permanency program until he is living with a family in the program so he will not be eligible for full services until they are finished. Still it is good that he is coming in. It will make it easier for the two boys to get together. If they have the same social worker it will be even easier.

7/7/04
Mary,

David has begun to fib sometimes. He was so careful to be so totally truthful in the beginning. It is just small things. He says he wants to go to Jose's (the youth group leader) house for the 4th of July. "Well, has he invited the group over?" "Not the whole group, just a bunch of us that hang out a lot." "Did he invite you over, or did you invite yourself?" "He invited us."

Of course it turns out that David did ask if he could hang out there and Jose said yes, inviting the rest of the gang over too if they wanted. The essential part that interested me is whether Jose's privacy is being respected. The essential part to David is whether Jose is really welcoming them.

If these are my problems with him I am still count myself very lucky.

7/24/04

David is gone on the National Youth Event with the church youth group. He asked to room with K (a lesbian friend of his). The local leaders saw the sense of that, of course. The national organizers insisted that it could not be done. The gay boy would be roomed with other boys and the lesbian with other girls. You should know that at this event there are many sessions about gay and lesbian youth and how the church can do a better job at meeting their needs. The UCC is very progressive.

To be fair, the national leaders said that it was contrary to the policy of the university where the event is being held.

Still it is ironic.

8/11/04
Mary,

Greetings from Maine!
It is as always breath-takingly beautiful here. I think it may be one of the loveliest places on earth. The water is so close. When it is quiet inside you can hear the surf even with the windows shut. There are moments when the sun is low and the water is active but without large waves and the light dances and sparkles across the water. I love it here.

David is doing better than Carl did. He does not complain about being bored.
He and Andrew and Brian go for walks along the beach. At low tide they go to Whale Cove to collect crabs, snails, and the occasional Grunnel Fish to keep in a bowl on the table for the day. We bought him yarn and he is about half-way through the afghan. He and I play Gin Rummy regularly. We decided to purchase a small spiral notebook and keep a running score throughout the vacation. For a while he was more than 500 points ahead of me. I finally caught up and was for a short while even ahead of him.


Brian has been keeping us on our toes with some sort of virus. Friday night his temp was 103. In the morning he was fine. Saturday evening it went to 101. Sunday morning he was fine. Sunday evening he had what appeared to be a migraine. He was nauseous (finally even threw up), and kept asking for more water. I looked it up on the web, thirst is a symptom of migraines in children. Monday night he had fever of 100.3. Last night he was fine...thank goodness. Oh...throughout he has had an ear ache which also gets better and worse. We talked to Hubby's cousin who is a PA. He assures us that if the temp and ear pain are fluctuating it is viral, not bacterial, and there is nothing to do but treat symptoms.

I hope that the migraine is related to the virus. I would hate for that to be a regular part of his life.

Andrew loves it here as much as anyone. He plays D&D here with his third cousin who is two years younger than he. That has never seen like much, but now Andrew is 14 and the cousin is 12. That is a significant difference.

David's Story Part 1: The Beginning
David's Story Part 30: Fall 2004