"You decided what?"

I'm okay. Ever had anything happen that is so bizarre that it ... well ... I have no idea. I will just tell you.

Frankie came home from counseling today saying that his counselor talked some sense into him and he was staying.

Everyone got that? Frankie said he is staying.

They even called the social worker during the appointment and told her. Frankie explained that he realizes that we are a good family and he should make it work with us.

He just needs his counselor to work out one thing. He needs her to get him into a new school.

Because you know, we went though a gut wrenching, painful decision about what he needed, what our kids needed, and what we were able to provide. We watched him cycle through manic/hyper/frenzied states. We dealt with him being near-incoherent for hours, complaining that the had to leave here because he was losing too many possessions. We called the police.

We comforted Brian who is now afraid to live with Frankie and told him what we had decided, and Brian sighed with relief.

And I cried and mourned and wondered, "What if?" And so many of you offered me comfort and understood.

We talked to Diane, the agency social worker, who called the state social worker and they decided that he needed a more structured environment and started all the paper work and came up with a plan.

But none of that matters, because Frankie has decided to stay. You know, just so long as his social worker gets him into a new school. He says that his in-school behavior has only been an issue because of the school. If he gets into a new school he won't have any problems there, and that will allow him to work on his behavior at home.

And I stared at him dumbfounded.

Totally dumbfounded.

He can't change schools. It isn't possible. With his recent behavior there is not chance in H. E. double-hockey sticks that any local school will accept him out of the learning center. I mean, it is mind-boggling that he could think he could be having temper tantrums and being defiant in a behavioral school and just transfer out. If he thinks he can, well, he is not in touch with reality.

But then we already suspected that.

We called the social worker to ask her to tell us her version of the conversation. She sighed. She might be as tired as we are at this point. As far as she is concerned we did not make the decision because it is what he wanted. We made it for a whole list of reasons that haven't changed.

She recommends that we allow Frankie to remain deluded for now. He is calm and she sees no point in upsetting him.

But I stopped crying.

I have no idea what will happen next.

I mean, he will be moving, but I don't know if he will get angry and change his mind a couple hundred times over the next few days or if someone will have to tell him. I don't know how he will react if/when someone tells him.

Brian is nervous. He's packed an over-night bag so that if it gets crazy again he can go to a friend's house.

--
By the way, I tried to talk to Frankie about his behavior last night. He says Brian shouldn't be afraid of him, "I'm really just a big ole teddy bear. I only hurt teddy bears! No. I mean I only hurt my own things or myself. I won't hurt him."
"Frankie, what do you think about your behavior last night?"
"Well, banging my fist in the box was excessive. It hurt too!"
"Do you think anything else was excessive?"
"Um...not really."
"How about throwing your things on the floor?"
"I just dropped them! I mean, I dumped them on purpose, but I didn't think they would break!" [He threw them on the floor hard. I was there.]
"Okay, what about tearing apart the cassette player?"
"I didn't mean to break it! I was just trying to get the tape out! I didn't want to break it."
"And everything that happened before that? All the anger over the game?"
"I think I know what to do about that! I think that it just wouldn't save because I had the wrong disk in. If I change it, it won't happen again. But I am sorry for scaring you...and for all the other stuff."
"What other stuff, exactly?"
"Um.... losing the things you gave me?"