Monday, October 22, 2007


Do you remember when we were making the decision to take Frankie and I was feeling overwhelmed with how much information I was getting and how quickly I was getting it?

Well I thought I would tell you that I think we made this decision fully-informed. It is partly because I was so well informed about his past behavior patterns and diagnosis that I am responding to him the way I am. It is based upon his past patterns that the social workers are responding to him the way they are.

I have loose rules for what I share here. I try to share my story with the kids, which includes a fair amount of thinking about why they are the way they are. In Frankie's case I know much more about his history than I have or will share here.

I will tell you that he had 6 months of doing really well in the group home, which is what made everyone think he was ready to try a family.

And I will tell you that given his past patterns if I were to have told the social worker this morning what Frankie had done over the past 24 hours and that the family was feeling totally confident in our ability to cope and help him, she would STILL be looking for a bed in the adolescent psychiatric unit.


  1. I'm really sad for you and your family, including Frankie.

  2. It was crazy here yesterday, with all the kids over and I missed all these posts.
    I am typing with tears in my eyes, for you, for your family, for Frankie, for all the children who have to say good bye.
    You are an amazing family, do what you need to do, for all of you.

  3. I know the struggle you are facing, as we went through this last year. We were informed. We knew all we could know. But we also knew he needed much more than we could provide. I pushed for psychiatric help but no one would support me on this. I wanted him to stay in our home, but his behaviors at the time made it unsafe for all of us. My thoughts are with you and Frankie. The best thing is your agency is being proactive on his behalf; I wish mine had been as well.


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