Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Tomorrow Frankie Leaves

They just called. In the staff meeting they decided to send him back to the residential treatment center (the place before the group home) where he did the best.

I was asked if I wanted for him to be picked up today or tomorrow. I said tomorrow so that he could see his counselor one last time and pack up his own things how he wanted them packed. So two people will be coming in the morning for him. They provide everything at this treatment center so all he can bring would be a couple of notebooks that he has been writing in.

When we were imagining last night all the places he might go and we suggested this one he said that he couldn't go back because he had a bet with a staff member that he wouldn't ever have to go there again. He was supposed to go back when he was 18 to visit in order to "win."

But every time he talks about how much he hates his school he explains how they did school at this location. That was the sort of school environment that he thought he was signing up for.

I am recommended to tell him that he is being picked up but that I don't know where he is going so that he will stay calm.

I hate that idea because it feels is deceitful and I like him, but I am almost certainly going to do it because I am afraid of and for him.

There it is...I am afraid that if I tell him the truth he will rage and hurt himself and destroy his things.

I told the man from the treatment center that he would feel like he lost a bet and let someone down. He agreed that he would emphasize to Frankie that this is where he felt he was getting the best education.

I feel sad.

And I feel relieved.


  1. Sad and relieved.

    Devastated and grateful.

    I am so sad that he has to go back. I believe that he needs to, as I'm sure you do as well, but it is just so NOT what he wants (or thinks he needs).

    I'm sure the kids is going to do well, because of your writings he has so many people that will keep him in their thoughts and prayers.


  2. Okay, now I am sad again. How awful for him that he can't take any of his things- when his possessions seemed so important to him. And really, I can understand that. "Things mean a lot to me to. I have a bad habit of getting attached to inanimate objects. If my son lost his blanket and stuffed dog, I think I would be as upset as he would. (okay I know I would- we left them in a bag at the airport in Germany this sumemr and we both cried all the way across the Atlantic- but we got them back eventually).

    I think the fact that he has no people to call his own makes things more important- but then again he destroys them. But, that is probably some psychological thing about hurting the ones he loves or himself for punishment.

    Then again, he seems to not react in the way a normal person would so perhaps he won't be bothered at all. It seems that often he is placted by offering up something else. Like you do with a toddler.

    I hope this place will help him- at least it is not totally unfamiliar. Perhaps that was what was so hard about a family- no frame of reference.

  3. this is the best news i've heard in a while. g-d bless him, maybe he will be stable again after he has been there for a few weeks or so. poor baby, i know he is going to be upset and will not understand why. then again, being frankie, he may decide the school will teach him something and head on out.


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