Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Discouraged Before We Start

Last night Hubby explained our new one-two-three-you're done rule for dealing with frustration while playing video games. Frankie was fine with that.

This morning Frankie had a frustration break down over the fact that he couldn't find some of his things. They weren't even things he needed right now, just things he thought about and couldn't find.

I of course suggested that cleaning his room might help. He said he had searched he room and he new for sure that they weren't there. He suspects Andrew of throwing at least one of the away since the last place he remembers it is on the gaming table. Nothing in his room is put away. The floor is covered with clothes, papers, old toys, junk. The book case, the storage cupboard, the closet, and the dresser are -- you guessed -- empty. There is no way he could have search his room adequately without cleaning it up.

Hubby later told me that he wasn't sure how well our fancy plan for dealing with Frankie's frustration was going to work out. We may be able to make him stop playing video games, but he can get frustrated over anything. I agreed. The only thing that is different from WoW is that he obssesses about it even when he is not playing.

Hubby was looking pretty tired too.

To be fair though there is more going on here, personal stuff that is causing tension and sadness.


  1. Boy, I sure relate to feeling discouraged even before you start. We've been asking (begging) "Danielle's" social worker for help with some recent behaviors that we are really struggling with, and she e-mailed us and basically told us to quit complaining...

    I can so relate to feeling tired and wondering if you can possibly go on for another moment. I am wondering if we are going to end up being forced to give a 7-day notice because we can't get the support we need.

    I hope that you guys get the help you need to continue.

  2. I'm just guessing here, but I think Frankie is missing a whole bunch of life skills that he never got - some from his parents inabilities and some from being in group homes.

    It took a group home for me to learn that you have to take a shower every day. And that it's easier to find your clothing when you put it away in the first place and have a hamper to put it in. And that most people comb their hair everyday.

    Maybe you and Hubby need a set time each day or week with Frankie working on basic life skills - how to organize, how to clean, how to wash dishes, how to use a bank account, etc. Frame it for all the boys - how to change the oil, how to sew something, how to do ____________. They're all life skills, some more basic than others, but all necessary.

  3. I'm sorry things are hard right now. I know you are doing Franckie a world of good.


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