Tuesday, October 23, 2007

How we are

So...a couple of you have emailed and asked how we are doing.

I'm feeling okay...a bit strung out, apprehensive, but okay. I wish a bed would open up in the fricative adolescent psych ward already, but I am okay.

Frankie is happily talking about how he is going to be spending next month's allowance.

Brian pulled me aside to asked worriedly if he was going to be here to GET next month's allowance. I said no, but that the social workers said not to tell him that because we don't want him to get upset.

Hubby took Brian and Frankie to the Y with the plan that he will wear them, particularly Frankie, out.

Andrew took advantage of the situation to talk to me, "Mom. I want you to know that first, I am not afraid of Frankie. Okay? Second though, Brian is afraid and I need to tell you that I am not okay with Brian being put in a situation where he is afraid. This is his house; he shouldn't be afraid here."

I said I was sorry and that I would never do it again. I would never let them rush us on a placement decision again. I would never make the decision without all of us having a chance to talk about it after the youth had visited us. I would not accept a child who had any history of violent outbreaks, even if it had been 6 months since the last one.

Andrew thought about it and said, "Well, okay then."

So... that's how we're doing.

How are all you?


  1. Even with those safe guards in place their are no guarantees. I suspect that your family would have agreed to take Frankie in if you had known all that in advance. Except the angry outburst, but what teen HASN'T had an angry outburst?

    Foster care is hard for families, God knows. All the more reason to say thank you for doing what you do.


  2. Thanks for the update on how you are doing. I was wondering but didn't want to pry either.

    To answer your question...We are doing fine. We have respite lined up for the 2nd weekend in Nov. I still feel guilty but I know it's what is needed. I've got 3 weeks to figure out how to tell the kids. Any ideas for me when you have less on your plate will be greatly appreciated. I know Emilee isn't going to be happy about going to a respite home for the weekend.

  3. You are right "Innocent" -- we probably would have taken him anyway, but I might not have to be lectured.

    You know that sounded EXACTLY like something I would say.

  4. I'm glad to know how you're doing, not just what you're doing.

    As for us, the last two weeks have about kicked my ass. I spent no less than 6 hours on the phone today with attorneys, social workers, and family. As of writing this, I feel like I'm winning, but the next phone call could change it (which is why I'm not answering the phone tonight). I've meant to blog stuff, but the hits kept coming and coming, and I kept thinking, "This will be the end! This must be the end!" So, after I decompress a bit, I'll spill about the upswing.

    Distracting enough? Vague enough?

  5. In the words Buffy, "Could you vague that up for me?"

    If you wanted to distract me from my own life you have succeeded.

  6. Hah, I was thinking about Buffy all day long on my phone marathon.

    At one point, the people I'm now winning against (which makes them the LOOOOOOSERS! Woohoo!) were Adam, and my side was The UberBuffy Team -- hand, heart, all that stuff. Overly dramatic, yah, but it got bad and I really wanted to pull the nuclear powered core out of someone's patchwork flesh.

    And then later on at the hardware store, I kept thinking, "Oh, shiny!"

    And then at 5:30 when all the calls were done and I was giddy, I started thinking how slaying vampires always makes me hungry and horny.

    Yeah, I often go back to Buffy myself.

  7. Well, if you slayed Adam today than watch out for your dreams tonight.

    Remember that Joss says the cheese man has no symbolic meaning, because sometimes dreams don't make sense.

  8. Glad to hear that you are hanging in there.

    As I read your story, it reminds me of all the frustrations we are having with "Danielle." It's just not right that a kid should need services, and not get them because they simply are not available.

  9. well, i thought i was doing ok, until I tried to decipher the comments above. Cheese slayer? Whahuh?

    Seriously. Whats up with that?

  10. Hahaha, I guess I had better prepare myself for The First Fosterparent.

    And while I'll go along with the cheese man not meaning anything else, I will say, "She likes cheese."

    And, "The cheese stands alone". :P

  11. There is no such thing as a cheese slayer, as far as I know. There is a vampire slayer.

    At the end of season four she and her friends mystically combine and call upon the spirit of the first slayer to enable them to kill an monster -- which is done by pulling the power source out of his chest.

    In the very last episode of that season the spirit of the first slayer, apparently angered by being called upon, attempts to kill them in their dreams. Their individual dreams are full of symbols.

    But in each dream this man shows up with slices of cheese. He says things that are non-sensical like, "I wear the cheese. The cheese does not wear me."

    The creator of the series, Joss Whedon, said that the cheese man is there because though are dreams are symbolic, sometimes there is stuff that doesn't make sense.

    "Questions? Comments?"

  12. I just googled "buffy cheese dream" and came up with this. Now I feel all smart and stuff because I wrote "the cheese stands alone" a few minutes ago. Go me.

    For further reading:

  13. Yes she likes cheese... It's not like the key to heart or anthing, but she likes cheese. And ice shows, without the irony. And she has a stuffed pig named Mr. Gordo.

    But you never know what is coming. The stake is not the power. To Serve Man is a cookbook.

  14. Thanks for the link. I needed something funny.

    Well, I love me some Buffy.

    And I'm glad you are doing ok.

    As for me (the baby stealing going to hell kidnapper), I'm ok. It's been a long week. Weather is getting cold and my heat is broken. Babies won't go to bed. On the upside, I took the $250 I won in a contest and bought an Iphone.

    This is the first thing I've bought for me in a long time and since my Ipod is crap now since the Bug issue...

    Well, I'm psyched.

  16. Yay Baggage!

    Ok, I love that episode. I think its that one where Xander asks Buffy how to make cereal, and she says, " You put the box near the milk. Saw it on Food Network."

    I use that all the time -- "I'm just putting the box next to the milk."

  17. What's up? I going cornered on the way home by a truly unsettled woman who just moved in around the corner (the kind that likes to complain about all the hard things in her life but not take any personal responsibility or action for them), and then walked into the house to two hyped up little girls and a screaming voicemail from an emotionally challenged individual in the community and with everything else I just broke down in tears.

    Then my Big girl told me she couldn't go to sleep now because I was crying and she couldn't sleep while I was making so much noise. HA HA HA.

    I was able to leave a calm voicemail for the emotionally challenged individual. I spoke to a few people in which I a) remembered that I don't have to get emotionally invested in someone else's shtick if I don't want to and b) that the whole Frankie thing has brought up old wounds.

    This helped me to a) talk with emotionally challenged individual in a way that let me not get tangled up in her shtick and instead focus on the issue at hand and how to resolve it (AND she apologized multiple times for sreaming in her voicemail), b) recognize that while everybody loves a train wreck, I might need to step away from reading for a few days, and c)that chocolate has magical powers.

    I am sending you HUGS and as the saying goes in Hebrew "Bracha v'Hatzlacha" (Blessings and Success/Luck/Mazel).

  18. In response to your comment over at Turn --

    Well, the 11th to 21st post was fairly comprehensive. I did leave out that Hubbers and I spent all Saturday at MakerFaire in Austin, and that my in-laws watched Huckle all of that day (we still haven't heard from them, I think they're scared we'll ask them to babysit for another 12 hours if they call), but still, I've been typing my fingers to the nubs. You must want me to bleed. :P

  19. It has nothing to do with your fingers. The issue here is ME! ME! ME!

    Your life sounds interesting -- mystically calling upon the First Fosterparent, defeating evil monster made of pieces of case workers and demons, followed by triumph and possibly dreams of cheese.

    I want the story!

    ME! ME! ME!


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