Sunday, October 14, 2007

Update on the day

After Frankie got over feeling sad that Brian left him behind, he went to the rec room, found a old game that may have been Hubby's when he was a kid. All I know is that it comes with a fold out plastic board with holes into which one sticks archers and knights and other medieval figures. The game is meant to be played with multiple players -- a barrier is set up and each arranges his or her army. The barrier is removed and then battle ensues.

Frankie though played his own game with it -- for a couple of hours. He lay on the floor and positioned and re-positioned the figures.

I think that just living with Brian is difficult for Frankie. Brian is younger, and older at the same time. Brian represents to Frankie everything that Frankie thinks he should be. It is difficult for him to accept that he is not as good at anything. Frankie is 15, technically a sophomore, doing fifth grade math and thinks he should be doing pre-algebra. Brian is 13, in 8th grade, and doing Algebra I. Even though Brian is on the chunky side and not athletic, he can ride a bike, dribble a basket ball, aim a Nerf gun, even run better than Frankie can. Brian is better at video games, and corrects Frankie's grammar.

And Brian has friends. People who call him up and want to do things with him.

And Brian is two years younger.

I'm not certain how to help him deal with that, other than to be honest with the difficulties.

Of course it will help if we identify clear areas in which he is stronger. I think he is more imaginative and sometimes more perceptive, but I don't know if he will understand the value of that.


  1. One of Peter's friend's was telling me about a game called Age of Empires, I think. It is a computer game similar to Sim City, if I understood him.(he is 8)
    There are different "ages" that you can create people, dwellings, weapons, etc. beginning with cave men and working up to medieval times. He was explaining that he is just learning to play, but he really enjoys it. I wonder if Frankie might enjoy it too. There aren't any cool RPG characters, just people, but there are battles and such.
    If you can't find it, I can try to get more info. Since my source is an eight year old boy, you may want to check it out further before investing anything.

    Good Luck.
    fostercarespacewarp at gmail dot com

  2. I don't know if this will help, but one thing I tell my therapy clients is that one of their strengths is that they survived. They made it through the traumas they experienced; they kept going, they kept trying, they kept learning and growing when others gave up, and they are still trying and learning and growing. I also remind them that the people they compare themselves to didn't have to overcome the same things: Brian, for example, didn't have to overcome having no parent who could take care of him, didn't have to figure out how to do whatever Frankie needed to do in resi in order to be stepped down to foster care, etc.


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