Thursday, October 25, 2007

Choosing Honesty

This morning I was honest with him. He claimed that I was "in on it" and that I had lied to him. I was slightly tempted to try to explain that technically all I did was withhold information, but I didn't. Besides, I did lie. I told him I did not have information that he was wanting.

I told him several times this morning that I wanted to stay in touch with him and everything I did was because I wanted him to be safe. I don't know that it "got through" but I know that the man who took him heard me and can reinforce that message.

I have his address and can send him letters. I will keep them very short. I will also have to make myself print carefully because he can't read cursive.

I know now that lying to him last night was absolutely the right thing to do. Given what he was saying and trying to do this morning, I am sure he would have attempted to destroy his belongings since, "I can't take them with me and they will all get lost and I will never have them again anyway." We would have had to call the police and he would have destroyed things he cares about.

I think it was right to be honest with him this morning too.

See, I really would like to see him again. I don't think he could ever live here, but I would be willing to let him have a respite weekend here (months from now). I really do care about him.

But I can only have a relationship with him if it is based upon honesty. If he leaves and builds up a fantasy that I did not know what they were going to do and that maybe I even would have tried to stop it if I did, well, that would be bad.

But I'm okay. Sad, but not overwhelmingly so.

I know he is going where he needs to be.

And I am relieved for us all.


  1. And we are also. Hugs.

  2. Good for you! You did what was right for him at each time. It doesn't matter if the decision last night isn't the same as the decision this morning, you did what felt right in your heart.

    Hope you feel better soon.


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