The many uses of duct tape

Everyone, Evan (18), T. who is here on respite (16), Andrew (16), and Brian (12) wanted to go with me to The City. God knows why. I told them I was just going to take Evan to the bike shop and I was going to spend my birthday money at the kitchen store. But they all want to go. T & Brian ask "Can I get some breakfast first?" "Yes." Just when I think they are all ready I realize Andrew is in the shower. I consider just leaving without him. Hubby though goes and tells him to hurry. I wait.

Finally we leave. We get to the bike shop. Evan picks out a bike, which takes a long time. The people do whatever it is that they have to do to bikes before you leave with them, which takes longer. We take the bike out to the van. It does not fit in the back of the van. I fold over the bench seat, make Brian sit on the floor (I know, bad mother) and get everyone in.

"Mom, can we go to the hobby store next?"

"What?"

"Dad said that you would take us to the hobby store. I'll be fast. I know exactly what I want."

"Okay."

And then it starts. Andrew tells Brian he can't spend his money on what he wants because he has to replace Andrew's friend's D&D figure. They debate all the way to the store. No one can prove who broke it. It is clearly Andrew's fault as he and his friends were at the D&D table when it happened. Andrew can glue it together. No he can't; glue won't work.

I get to the hobby store. They go in. They come out. Nothing they wanted was there.

"Can we get something to drink? Maybe something to eat?"

I pull up the the convenience store. I'm tired. I'm hungry. There's no way I am buying food to satisfy this crowd. "You can all get something to drink. No food." (I'm grumbling inside. They are tired and hungry and cranky. Going to the kitchen store is not looking like a good idea. This is not turning out the way I imagined.)

I get out and start to walk away. I hear Brain yelling at Andrew, "Hey! Why did you shut the door on me? I was just about to get out!"

I have been a foster parent for 6 years. I have hours and hours of training. I have taken courses in behavior modification. I have been going to counseling and Al-Anon, practicing "Letting Go and Letting God." I have discovered that I can be serene no matter the chaos around me.

So why did I hear myself yelling, "STOP ARGUING OR I WILL DUCT TAPE ALL YOUR MOUTHS!"

Sigh. We got the drinks. We got back on the road. Everyone was silent. I told the kids I was sorry for yelling at them.

Then, as I take a gulp of my water, Evan says, "I'm just wondering. Where were you going to get the duct tape?"

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