I picked Evan up from YAD on Sunday. For the second time they kids were there at the end of the second hour still asking question -- sex ed part 2. On the way home Evan told me with the confidence of the young that what the people who teach these classes just do not understand is romance and passion and how unrealistic it was that you were going to stop and have a conversation about condoms.
Clearly Evan was telling me he had engaged in unsafe behavior -- and that is distressing. We dealt with that, but first I could not resist responding to the suggestion that we old folks were as ignorant as he thought. "Evan, they know. We remember." He looked at me questioningly. "We were teenagers once. We remember that level of passion; some of us still experience it. And I agree. Asking someone if he has a condom can break a mood. That's why YOU have to carry them. You don't even have to talk about it. Just get it and put it on your partner."
He was startled. "It takes a lot to throw you off doesn't it?" He is constantly surprised that I am not shocked at the thought of boys having sex, have heard of "Queer as Folk."
Anyway, he acknowledged that he had engaged in unsafe behavior. It was troubling that he had so an "of course, doesn't everybody" sort of attitude about it. He confessed that he was worried about HIV. Fortunately he already had a doctor's appointment on Monday so he got a test then. He will know in a couple of days.
He did ask if he could still live with us if he was positive. I told him of course he could stay. He seemed doubtful so I told him that I would absolutely insist that he not borrow any body else's razor.
One of the people who taught the class at his youth group is a young man who has been HIV positive for years. It is good for the kids to know that there are people who are positive "right here in River City." On the other hand it also makes it less frightening at the same time.
Evan's Story Part 1: The Beginning
Evan's Story Part 6: September 2005