David's Story Part 42: A Whole New Conflict

2/2/05
Ruby,

Hi. Things are certainly a roller coaster with David.

Two evenings ago I was putting together the monthly report and there were three receipts for clothes which David had purchased. Two had been there a while and
I knew what they were. The third was for a $50 item purchased on 12/26/04 which
I knew nothing about. So I asked him about it. He said he did not remember. That seemed crazy to me -- how could he buy a piece of clothing for $50 and not even remember what it was? I told him that I had to know and that I would not send in the report for a couple of days so that he would have a chance to find out what the receipt was. He stormed off to his room.

When I knocked on the door and asked him what he wanted me to do with the receipt he said, "I really don't care." I pinned it to his cork board.

I did not see him all day yesterday.

I leave before he is up in the morning and Hubby called this morning to say that
David said that he did not in fact have an orthodontist appointment today like
I thought. I asked to speak to him and asked if he had had a chance to find out about that receipt. "NO."

I said something else...I forget what and there was only silence. I finally said that if he was not speaking to me then he should just give the phone back to Hubby.
He did.

Hubby called later to tell me that he had tried to speak to David. He told him that I was not doing this to piss him off -- this is how every business is run. I did not have a choice. David said, "Oh, I think she does."

How could he not remember what he bought? He loves his clothes. I keep wondering if he "can't remember" because it was a Christmas gift for Robert and he does not remember EXACTLY what it is and so can truthfully tell me that he doesn't remember it. (Remember, David does not lie, but that does not mean he is not very creative in how he tells the truth.) Or maybe he really was not exactly sure when I first asked him and he is refusing to put brain power into remembering on principle.

Part of me thinks, and really does feel, that I should just let this silence treatment roll off. I mean he is the one losing the $50.00. All I am getting is a quiet living room. (All the writing to you is very therapeutic. I have almost worked myself to that very emotionally healthy place. A few more deep breathing exercises and I might even be there.)

2/3/05

I'm pretending not to notice that David isn't talking to me. He came home more than an hour late yesterday and glared at me. He was practically daring me to yell at him. I said, "Sweetie? Did you miss the bus? You look frozen. I could make you some tea." He just glared and went into his room.

This is kind of fun.

2/4/05
Ruby,

I wanted to let you know that David cracked under my ruthless campaign of sweetness and nice.

He is talking to me again, nicely.

David's Story Part 1: The Beginning
David's Story Part 43: The Eye of the Hurricane