Anxious about leaving...

I think I'm doing that thing where you get angry at someone so that it is easier to leave them. Or maybe it is just all the last minute anxiety about leaving and everything I need to do.

Like pack.

And write out phone numbers for Evan.

And go up to the campus and print off the documents I need.

And go to or cancel three meetings.

And talk to everyone about what food they want to have packed for the trip and shop.

And go to the library to get a bus map for Evan (you know, he could do that himself. Scratch that.)

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But I am quarreling with Evan a lot. Things are bothering me much more than they normally would. He told me that he was going to email me something that he wrote. I got an email with a list that has been circulating on the Internet for a couple of years. I went to him room and said, "I thought you were going to send me something you wrote." "I did." "I mean, something that you actually wrote yourself." "I did." "Well, I just got one email and it is something I have seen before. It's been on the Internet for a couple of years. Maybe the thing you wrote didn't come through?" "Oh! I didn't say that I WROTE it. I said that I posted it on my blog."

Little sh*t...thinks he can pull obvious plagiarism off on me? Who the h*ll does he think I am? Detecting plagiarism, and flunking students for it, is part of what I do for a living.

See what I mean? It would have annoyed me any time, but last night, it was just the worst.

This morning I got angry because the dishes he was supposed to wash last night where still in the sink. "Can I do them when I get home?" "Not without pissing my off. They will be in my way all day." (Okay...that normally would have made me angry.)

He asked if he could have the key to the thermostat so that he could adjust it if they weather changes. I said no. It is set at the summer setting and it is not going to suddenly get cold. I should have just said that. Instead I said, "I don't trust you to not just set it to 70 or less the whole time." "FINE! Trust me with your whole house but not with the thermostat."

Ah...and there is the rub. I am trusting him with the whole house.

He is getting very excited about having the house to himself. He thinks I am worried about him having sex. I'm not. I am worried that the whole house is going to look like his room when I get back: garbage and dirty dishes growing fuzz everywhere; remnants of fast food and cola ground into the carpet; a mess the dog made (because he left food in the living room) uncleaned. I am afraid that he will invite friends over who will bring booze, get drunk, and then vomit on my couch; smoke cigarettes and stink up my house and leave burns in my furniture.

This thing where you go away for two weeks and actually leave an 18 year old boy alone in the house is not easy.

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