Reading this, I can't help but think, "Poor David." As if all the transition and beginning decision-making in adolescence isn't enough, to have the foster care system to deal with on top of that! How different things would have been for him if he'd had a long-established relationship with parents who could guide him, set limits, help him think things through... (Not that you weren't doing that, but the strength of a long-term relationship wasn't there to carry you both through.)
I had edited this out. I had decided that it was not really part of the "David's Story" series and maybe I would write a separate post about it. But I guess it does belong here. My friend Mary made a similar comment and I wrote:
When I think about whether my relationship with the foster kids and the bioboys is the same or "equal" I can start to feel guilty, or something. When I just think about what is best for Carl or David I do not. Frustrated maybe, but not guilty.
It is just different with David. If Andrew or Brian were pulling this sort of cr*p feel free to be angry. I might even yell at them. It might not make a difference, but I would not be like this. David has a history of abandonment. He is capable of turning off his emotions. He could walk away from me in an instant and never look back. I don't want that to happen. I don't want it for him, me, or the rest of the family.
I just don't have any leverage with him. There is nothing I can take away from him that he can't live without.
David's Story Part 1: The Beginning
David's Story Part 47: Staying Out and Cutting School