Friday, June 29, 2007

"So basically you're angry because..."

Have I mentioned recently that Andrew is very perceptive? He watches people. He understands them. He understands me.

I picked him up from a sleep-over and he got in and said, "What's wrong?"

I told him that I was having trouble shaking the mood over what Rhonda did last night. He knows me well enough to ask what happened this morning. "It was stupid. I don't even know why it upset me so much. I tried to make casual conversation and she interrupted me to ask for candy. I just keep seeing those wide innocent eyes and I feel angry all over again."

"So basically you're angry because you got taken?"

He's right, of course.

"Yeah, I guess so. I don't usually fall for their stuff!"

"I know. Why did you?"

"Mandy set me up. It's all her fault!"

Okay, I'll be the grownup, or I'll try.

It is the having been taken in that makes it so infuriating. I can understand that "charm and manipulate" technique has been her strategy for dealing with whatever it is that she has had to deal with. Who knows, it may have saved her life. Like all survival strategies it is not going to go away because it annoys me.

Right now, as I write I am calm, sane, and understanding. I could, and may later, write a long thoughtful post about how one could possibly deal with this behavior. It is one of those things that it is almost impossible not to reinforce in the course of daily activities. I mean, if a kid throws fits you can walk out and then give them attention when... wait ... I said I might write that post later.

The point is that that is the mood that I am in right now. I don't know if I will be able to hold it though. I mean, take a three second interaction we had when Hubby brought her home from school.

I expected her to be moody, angry or hurt because I had given her the cold shoulder this morning. She instead gave me a huge grin, wide eyes and said, "hi!"

And my initial, automatic reaction was to smile back in response. And she turned and walked off with a stride that seemed to me to be triumphant (although that could have been my imagination).

And I thought, "That's why there are so many stories about princesses locked up in towers."


  1. The last line makes the entire post. I love it! (I also hope it gets much less frustrating and fast, of course. But you're still hilarious.)

  2. and until you live with the princess -you really don't get the why about the towers!

    I think you have been describing it all so well.

    My daughter is gorgeous and sweet and so good at being dumb/cute/innocent that many, many, many people totally unaware of how tightly in control she is of a given situation.

  3. This is what I imagine Paris Hilton has been like all her life...

  4. Princesses locked up in towers! I love it!

    I know exactly what you are talking about and how frustrating it can't even articulate it to someone else because the child appears to be perfectly pleasant. Gaw! I think that most people are taken in by this behavior, so even if you are able to tell the CW about it, you will be seen as the crazy one. I guess there is nothing left to do but build a tower! :)


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