Feeling Better
I had a long phone call with a friend...someone who is particularly good at helping me sort through what I am feeling (okay...it was my Alanon sponsor; everyone should have one).
I also spoke with Evan again. I told him that I didn't have anything particular I wanted to say, but not havng talked about it felt strange. He said he understood and that he had contacted the person he hurt. I do believe that, by the way. He knew things that I had said, and not said, to the other party. I don't know if Evan apologized, but I know he called and that means something to me.
And just talking about it was good.
I feel like I was finally able to put the whole thing to bed.
This whole Alanon sponsorship thing -- it's pretty cool. We should have it as foster parents. Someone you are allowed to call; someone who is committed to following the same principles you are who is willing to talk through any situation. Someone who can help you figure out why you still feel crummy if you are convinced that you handled the situation right.
Writing here helped a great deal...and so did your comments. Thanks y'all.
I'm a bit late to the party, here. I'm glad you called your friend and that you talked to Evan. That was going to be my suggestion -- just tell Evan that this uncomfortable and while you know he's an adult you're still angry with his actions. In any case, I'm glad you're feeling better and that Evan took a step toward cleaning up his own spilled milk.
ReplyDeleteI love how you are able to establish your boundaries and not give in to "the dark side." I'm working on that a great deal myself and you're such an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteA sponsor is a wonderful thing and I'm glad they were able to help you out. Take of yourself!
ReplyDeleteB
You are my boundaries hero. I need you to come guide me because I have been allowing myself to get angry a lot. It only slips out in snappy moments, but I feel it building.
ReplyDeleteI am lucky enough to have this as a foster parent. I have a mentor who I have come to depend on hugely. She listens to my rants about caseworkers and understands when I tell her I don't particularly like one of the kids in my home, without judgment. It is so huge for me to be able to say that out loud without the person thinking it means I don't love the child or am perhaps being abusive. And to have someone who understands the struggles of a foster parent and can listen without saying, "why one earth are you doing this foster parent thing anyway?"
ReplyDeleteYes, every foster parent should have a mentor.