Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I'm back

So... what do you know about the fam?

Mom moved to her current location in order to live with her father after Sis and I graduated from high school and her mother died. He died two years later and she decided to buy a house in the area. Mom's friend then sold her house and moved 2000 miles to buy a house less than one mile away from Mom. That qualifies her as a total BFF (Best Friends Forever).

Anyway, the BFF was supposed to pick up Sis at the Very Tiny Airport while I rented a car from One of The Most Livable Large Cities in America (MLLCA). The car, by the way, was supposed to be the standard cheap sub-compact economy car. Sadly they were all out and asked if I minded having a free upgrade to a PT Cruiser. I told them I understood and would accept the car. There was this embarrassing moment when I thought I would have to drive back to ask how to roll up the window, but I did eventually discover the buttons in the middle of the dash above the radio. (Silly me, spending all that time searching the door!) The PT Cruiser had a display in the dash that indicated which direction you were going, which turned out to be very, very important later on.

Two months ago Sis had a sledding accident and managed to dislocate her ankle and break the bone just above the ankle in four places. Sis never called the BFF and though I tried, I never got her at home and did not want to leave messages since my mother might hear them (this I am now assured would never happen). So the BFF assumed the trip was off.

So the BFF and Mom went to a quilt show and out to dinner, while my poor broken sister sat in the Very Tiny Airport that closes at 8:30 calling me on the cell phone to ask if I had managed to get out of the MLLCA and how close I was to her. I told her that I did not know. I was driving a country highway that gave no signs telling me how close I was to Mom's Picturesque Tiny Town, but that I was just driving past Funny Name Town. She checked in with the locals who said that I was 45 minutes away and someone would wait for me to pick her up. (She volunteered to wait at the local Walmart which apparently made them nearly pee their pants laughing).

Of course I had directions to the BFF's house, not the Very Tiny Airport, so I made a wrong turn. I stopped at a convenience store where I was told to drive up to Freedom Junction and turn right.

I say, "Is there a sign there that says 'Freedom Junction'?" The woman behind the counter says, "Of course." The woman buying the gallon of milk says, "I don't think so, but it is at the top of Turkey Hill." The woman behind the counter says, "Isn't Turkey Hill over at such and such?" "There are two Turkey Hills." "That's right. There are, aren't there? That's strange."

I say, "Excuse me, but I have to get to the Very Tiny Airport very soon because they are going to close and my sister has a broken leg and she is waiting for me. I don't know the area, please tell me how I will recognize this turn." The woman buying the milk says, "You are turning East on Route #XX."

I nearly kissed her.

"Then just go a couple of miles and look for the hospital. It is off the road and the sign isn't easy to see in the dark, but you want to turn left one block after the light past the hospital. After that you will see signs for the airport."

"Do you know what road that is?"

Other than that it is the road to the Very Tiny Airport, they do not know.

So I leave looking for the hospital set back from the road with a sign which I never see and so miss the turn. I do eventually see a sign for the Very Tiny Airport which seems to be telling me to make a turn, so I do. It takes me onto a small country road appearing to be heading away from anywhere that there could possibly be an airport. Thanking all things good and holy for the invention of cell phones, I call my sister who puts me on the phone with the nice man who is staying late so that Sis does not have to sit on the sidewalk, "Where are you?" "At the corner of Cove Cross and Cross Lane" (I kid you not. Those are the real names.) "Which direction are you heading?" I look at the dash and proudly announce "East!" He gives me directions and I actually find the airport!

The nice man gives me directions to my mother's house. He does not know her, but he knows how to get to all 10 roads in the Picturesque Tiny Town. The directions involve things like turning right on the road one block before a certain light. The road I am to turn on may be Spring Street, unless it is the road right after Spring Street. It is definitely the one just before the light, and there is only one light. He asks me to repeat them back. He laughs kindly and tells me that I am already lost and has me repeat them again until I get it right.

As I pull out, we call the BFF and gods be praised, she is home. Keeping the phone on speaker she gives me directions all the way. Including how to get back after I turned the wrong way and end up on a dead end at the county high school. We consider sticking with the original plan and going to her house and seeing Mom in the morning, but the BFF insists that Mom will be thrilled to see us now. We drive up to her house, and I help Sis hobble up the stairs. It is 9:00pm.

We knock; she answers, and we yell, "Happy Birthday!"

To be continued....

There are over 200 posts in my reader!!! Everybody STOP POSTING so that I can catch up!


  1. Glad you are back! I've missed you. Other than getting lost so many times, I hope you had a good visit with your family.

  2. welcome back! I hope your trip was great, it sounds exciting if nothing else.

  3. Glad you are back! Missed ya!

  4. Welcome back I just caught back up with you again.

    I'm so glad that in spite of all the differences it sounds like you had a great time.


Comments will be open for a little while, then I will be shutting them off. The blog will stay, but I do not want either to moderate comments or leave the blog available to spammers.