Boundaries, rules and conditions

When we talk with Evan tomorrow we are to make certain he understands what the rules are for coming home, staying in the foster care program, etc.

To be with us:
He has to follow basic house rules and remain in good standing with the agency. Basic house rules include such things as not being high or having drugs in the house.

To stay in the foster care program:
He has to be in school and working and doing outpatient treatment for addiction.

Outpatient:
The rehab counselor wants to keep the outpatient treatment as reasonable as possible. Right now she is trying to find a treatment program that will allow him to go just once a week and attend a 12-step program once a week. He also must see her once a week of course. She thinks that it is possible that treatment centers will demand that he go at least twice a week and attend 2 12-step program meetings a week.

He is also expected to get a job.

He has our unconditional love, but he does not have an unconditional pass to live here. I really want him to stay and I really want him to finish high school. I really, really want him to stay until the magic date of August 16 when he will have been in the program for 12 months and will therefore qualify for their generous scholarship program.

What I like about all of this is that it is not my job to worry about whether he is using drugs or in recovery or anything else. As long as he is treating everyone respectfully he can stay.

I am nervous about talking to him tomorrow. He has been so intense when we have talked on the phone.

We will see.