Monday, April 10, 2006

The begining of a change for Miss E

E's social worker finally talked to her today. She, the social worker, has come to the conclusion that E cannot be talked into going back to Mandy's. She could be pressured, but that is probably not a good idea.

So the social worker will find another spot for her. She will try to keep E in the school district, but does not expect to succeed. Hubby said, "So she's going to find her a temporary place while they look for a good long-term home?"

Oh no. E is not a in the permanency program for which I work. She will not be "matched." She will not have visits with a family, get to know them, and be asked to make a commitment. She will be moved. Her social worker will call people and ask, "Can you take a girl right now? She's a high school sophomore who has good grades, a job, and runs track. She has never been in any serious trouble, but you should know that she does have issues with attachment."

Someone will say, "yes" and the social worker will pick E up and move her to her new home. The social worker will then go back to her too heavy work load and hope that it sticks.

I want to be angry at someone. I just don't know who to blame.

I have spent a week with this young woman. I still find her annoying, tiring, and a little fightening. But I have also come to care about her. I wish there was some place for her. I wish that I could believe that she was going to a home where there is a parent who can keep things from escalating. I hope she finds a place where she can feel safe while she finishes growing up. I wish that I could give her that place. But she is out of my league - at least while the boys are still living here.

Instead I will hand her over to her social worker. I will shake her hand or pat her on the shoulder, because that is all the physical contact she can take.

Then I will sit down with the awful bright yarn she bought and knit the afgan she picked out. I will later take the afgan to the health and welfare office and ask them to get it to her. I will imagine that it will help her believe that she is lovable.

Here's one for Dan:

If you find yourself regularly loving children you really don't might be a foster parent.

Next on Miss E: Miss E has moved on.

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