Monday, January 22, 2007

A blogger forced to shut down

Scotty of "The Other Side of Straight" a gay Dad blogger who is less reserved about talking about his sex life than Evan is (and that is saying something) is shutting down his blog, which I have enjoyed immensely.

He wrote about questions that straight women ask him about sex and there was at least one question on that list that I had wanted to ask someone but had no idea who I could ask. He had a story about his mother redecorating his adult bedroom (he liked the decorations). He later discovered somewhat embarrassing materials under his mattress, where his mother must have returned them after putting on the lovely dust ruffle. I laughed until I cried.

He is in a custody battle.

An homophobe with nothing better to do than make him miserable has printed his blog and distributed it to everyone who might be bothered by it. He is shutting down.

The blogosphere is not safe, not really. I started the blog primarily because I realized that I was boring my husband and friends with my constant talk about the foster care system. I needed an outlet. What I found was community of people who are now friends. I have allies from all sorts of places who give me support, and I thank you all.

No...I'm not considering shutting down. In my case there is no custody battle. I genuinely believe that if the worst happened, I would loose nothing more than the blog itself. The social worker whom Evan told about the blog never went looking for it, or if she did she managed to dodge my tracking service. If I had to do it over again I would not ask the kids for permission to write. Though the obvious reasons for doing so still exist, I did not fully realize that I would be asking them to keep a secret and that is not fair to them. So I would have done that differently.

But it saddens me that anyone has had to shut down.

And so I take a moment to tell Scotty and his delightful, funny, irreverent blog goodbye.

And Scotty, if you think this post is in any way a threat, I will delete it.


  1. I'm sorry to hear that even though I didn't know about the blog.

    What is it with some people anyhow?

  2. It is why I am so careful.
    I live in a conservative place (in some ways) and I know that my anonymity is fairly fragile and therefore that of my kids is too.

    I am not that fearful of a custody battle but then, two of my kids are not legally mine yet either.

    Not that I am all that controversial any way, but it is one of the things that keeps me that way.

  3. I'm sorry to hear of a blog I'll miss out on. Especially with good stories. Gay men get asked all the good questions! I think it is because we aren't shy about answering them.

    I'm just sorry to hear him going through this.

  4. Thanks for the vote of confidence. I may recreate the wheel down the road and start fresh. Who know. FOr now I just need to not give her any more fuel to fight me with. I hope you found everything OK ;)


  5. I've never read his blog, but I'm sorry I missed it. I hate to hear of someone having to shut down. Blogging is such a wonderful outlet. I try to be careful about what I say and reveal, but it's still worrisome at times.

  6. What a nightmare. Poor scotty.


Comments will be open for a little while, then I will be shutting them off. The blog will stay, but I do not want either to moderate comments or leave the blog available to spammers.