Update on the list
Though Evan has been sick he is working on that list.
-He has a couple of boxes packed and thinks that the ones we have at home will be enough.
-He paid for his next driving test and has an appointment to take the test this afternoon.
-I will drive him to his last counseling appointment on Monday and drop him off.
-His social worker will pick him up and take him shopping for the rest of the clothes he needs. The family will then meet the both of them for dinner.
He will need to finish packing this week, but I have no doubts about his ability to do that. He will also have to go back to the DMV to get his actual license but it is even possible that I could just loan him the car to do that and to take his boxes to grandmother. We are committed to keeping him out of the car as much as possible. Our rule has always been that the kids would be responsible for covering the deductible ($500) if there was an accident and that would be pretty devastating to Evan right now. On the other hand, given that it is just one week our insurance agent says he can be considered a guest who will be borrowing the car, so we don't have to pay an extra premium on him, and letting him drive himself on a couple of these errands definitely helps with my sense of being overwhelmed.
I of course bounce back and forth from being a pitiful pile of sadness and being proud and confident.
It is a new experience for me. The other kids moved out, but stayed close, or closer. Each of those moves was sad, but easier.
Evan is not moving out the house a mile or 30 away. He is getting on an airplane and leaving the freaking country.
Today I am feeling strong. Today I am pleased that he has decided to take the afghan I made with him, not to mention this monster scarf I am currently knitting. He won't forget us any time soon.
I appreciate all the information and encouraging words. Evan has been looking at web sites about slang and general word use. He is also going to a place where they regularly have American volunteers so I think they will be prepared for him to ask for a napkin at the dinner table.
I made list of things we could have for dinner during the last week. It is a bit disappointing because he has a cold and it has affected his ability to taste, but I will still cook as many of the things as he likes as I can.
7 days.
When I lost the chance to adopt the boy that I hosted I felt kind of lost. I didn't know what to hold on to anymore. After a while, though I was still sad, I knew it was time to look at the good things about it. He's not in the orphanage anymore. He lives with a woman who, while she won't adopt him, is committed to him. Plus she's a teacher and she will foster his intelligence. He's in impoverished town but because of her and because of his innate talents, he has a chance to make something of himself.
ReplyDeleteI know it's possible that he'll fall into the poverty trap and be unemployed and likely an alcoholic like many of the men in his town are -- but he has a good chance. I have to hold on to that because I have no more control that hope and faith at this point.
Sorry to be so verbose, but it's kind of related to where you are with Evan. Letting him go is going to be so hard because he'll be far, far away and there's some doubt over how this plan will be for him. But hold on to all the good things that could come out of this. Evan could find something there he's never found before. And you'll be here for him to call when he needs to.