Sunday, August 13, 2006

From zero to 60 and back (almost)

So Evan came home from work last evening. He has been doing really well at going to work.

He said, "I'm scheduled for 37 hours this next week."

Me, "That's great. Do you know when you will have a chunk of time so you can see your counselor?"

Evan, "I didn't write my schedule down. I did tell her that I had to take time off to for my final exam for the on-line class. She got all huffy because she worked so hard on the schedule and now she would have to change it. She just said, 'you can have Monday off' and walked away." He went unreasonable she was, how he had to chase her down and tell her that Monday would not work because he had to call the proctor and schedule the exam first, how rude she was about it, how he couldn't help this because he HAD to take the exam!

I kept my mouth shut until I could corner Hubby alone. I want on my tirade: irresponsibility of the youth thinking everyone else should rearrange their lives, redo their work for them with no complaint; Evan should know to ask for time off BEFORE the schedule is written; the proctor probably won't have time this week anyway because this is registration and she is a school counselor and will be helping hundreds of other students with their schedules; I bet he waited until the last minute; he should have done the exam last week when he had all those days off; Evan does not even seem to care about finding time to see his rehab counselor; Evan had better d*mn well realize that seeing the counselor is important, because I meant it when I said that he had to see her to live here...I mean he has quit relapse prevention group and we all accepted it; he never goes to meetings; he doesn't have a sponsor; he has no contact with anyone else in recovery...there is no way in h*ll he is going to quit counseling!

Then I stopped. I looked at Hubby looking at me. Not saying anything, just looking.

Let's see...Evan is behaving like an 18-year-old (which he is) in that he is being disorganized and expecting everyone else to be able to accomodate him at the last minute. He is also really trying to work, do what he is supposed to on his education, and has never once said anything to make me think he is thinking about quitting counseling. He likes this counselor.

I on the other hand am predicting doom and despair.

I've been catching myself at this quite a lot recently. We are moving into the home stretch and I am worried about whether he can make it. I have seen so many kids fall apart as they approach emancipation.

I'm trying just to focus on right now; I am really nervous about what the next four or five monts are going to be like. I imagine he is too.

One day at a time.

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