Monday, October 06, 2008

School Options

Mrs. Butter B wisely comments that many kids who have spent time in group homes or other controlled environments have trouble making decisions. She states that the solution she has seen be most successful is one in which the young person given limited choices.

I'm thinking she is probably right with respect to Gary.

Wanting to discuss his different options for school is not the biggest problem I have ever had to deal with with a kid, but I am finding that I am beginning to run out of patience with it. He isn't certain about the girlfriend's school. She's been complaining about some things and they are quarrelling.

Interesting, the thing they are quarrelling about is his interest in seeing if he could do on-line schooling. She thinks on-line schooling is just for the kids who get kicked out of school. She sees it as a mark that he is one of those "bad" kids and will never be able to get into college or get a job. When he asked me about it I said that doing on-line schooling meant that there were unanswered questions and colleges and employers would have to look elsewhere for the answers. Application essays, recommendations, test scores, and previous job performance all would matter more. So he is trying to convince her it will be fine.

Meanwhile I keep telling him that I do not think it will work out. I have told him that he may not stay home alone all day every day. That is out. He has accepted that and his new plan is to find a job during the day and then do on-line schooling at night. I told him that I didn't think the agency would support that decision. He says he knows, but he will ask them anyway. I'm pretty confident that they will tell him no, particularly after they ask me and I tell them why I'm not thrilled with the plan.

I called Brian's charter school. The receptionist encouraged me to put Gary's name in for next year, and let me leave a message for the principal asking if there was any chance of him transfering in this year. I hope she will call me back today and give me a clear answer.

I want to be able to narrow down Gary's choices PDQ. I want to be able to tell him that this year he is stuck at Our Town High and that it is time to buckle down and get to work. We can put in applications for the charter schools for next year and if he gets accepted he can make a choice one way or the other. Full-time on-line schooling is not on the table.

I think he needs our help to settle and commit.

Although he will, I am sure, still find things to debate endlessly.


  1. LOL

    Its funny, I remember one time taking a friend's child to the buffet style restaraunt, something she had never done before. Her family was fond of eating out, but it was always either a Chilis/Applebees type place or fast food. And rarely did she get to pick what she was having, outside of the "chicken nuggets or cheeseburger" option.

    She was sooooooo incredibly overwhelmed at the buffett- 10 vegetables? Potatoes 4 ways? Dessert BEFORE meat? Meat? 6 meats?!? adn salad? and I can put peas on my salad? or corn? or meat?

    It was hilarious, but sad too, in retrospect. She filled (well, overfilled) the plates and then sat them down, immediately bouncing up to go get more. She couldn't figure out where to start or what to get the point.

    Its funny, bcause I have this mental picure of Gary running aroudn doing the same thing. I'm surprised at one thing though- I figured he'd be that way with the girls too. You know, one girl isn't sufficient, he wants to try a variety out for a "good fit". (a chubby blonde, a skinny redhead, a curvy brunette, athletic african american, sultry latina, etc). I wouldn't be surprised for that to start happening once he settles into a school.

    Good luck to you. It sounds like his transitioning is going to be highly labor intensive for you for a while.

  2. Narrowing things down makes sense to me. While it's a much lesser scale than schooling, when Slugger is faced with too many choices, he's literally stymied. Having all of these options may be preventing Gary from really sinking his teeth into the Town High.

  3. My only concern about this is that, if I remember correctly, Gary is within a few years of turning eighteen, and if he leaves at eighteen, it would be optimal if he is able to make good choices for himself by then.


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