Letters to Evan

Since the staff at the rehab center said that I could email my letters to Evan have been writing him every day.

I spoke to another foster parent who had a kid in rehab said he did the same thing. The staff called one day to say that the teenager was agitated. Even though he never seemed to read the letters, he had not got one that day and was worried.

I am glad he told me that, because I don't really know what to tell Evan.

I don't want to write about when he comes home, because it is not in my power to guarantee that will happen.

I think about telling him that I got a sponser and am doing the 12-step thing like I know he is being encouraged to do, but I am afraid that will be taken as a challenge to compete.

So I write little notes about something that happened -- about how all the classes during one period were over-crowded and all the professors sent students out to steal chairs from the other rooms at the same time. About how we solved the problem but it required all three of us changing rooms so for about 10 minutes there were about 80 students walking back and forth trying to figure where their class went. I try to think, what would I say if Evan were to ask, "So how was your day?"

Other than the one letter and brief phone call, I don't get any feedback. I just send out these notes and hope they mean something to him. Perhaps the words themselves are pointless, but surely just that they exist must mean something.

Perhaps I will call the center today, ask how he is doing, and if he is getting my letters.