Happy day

This morning I put a post on a support forum for people involved with addicts (an Al-Anon kind of thing). I did not give the details that I put here, but I did say that I got a letter from my nephew in rehab and I was happy.

When he first went I was nervous that I did not know him at all. He had been using since before I met him and what if the kid that I had come to know and love didn't really exist? The letter was reassuring. It made me feel happy.

So I got responses on the board. Everyone said something like, "thanks for sharing a happy story" but almost everyone also said something to the effect of:

"Careful! Don't get your expectations up...expectations are just resentments-in-waiting."

Fortunately I was happy enough and confident enough that my happiness was not based on expectations that I was able to laugh.

Their responses reminded me of my friend. She took medication for her under-active thyroid, was 6 months pregnant, and had a toddler at home. She told her ob/gyn that she was feeling good.

"Good? Not tired?"
"No. I feel fine."

The physician immediately ordered a test on for her thyroid levels, lowered her medication doses and said that now she would feel like she should: exhausted.

I really did appreciate that everyone there was responding with loving concern. They were afraid I was stepping back on the rollercoaster in which my happiness rises and falls depending upon how Evan was doing.

Today though I am just feeling happy.

And I like it.