Wednesday, March 22, 2006

A blog identity crisis resolved, for now

When I first started reading blogs I realized that I liked the ones that had a focus. I wanted to listen to other people who were fostering or adopting older kids. I also found that I was thinking a lot about doing foster care: they why's; the how's. My family and friends could only listen to so much and so I thought...I'll write a blog. I'll write down all these thoughts and it will be interesting for me and maybe someone else will want to read some of it.

So I did.

My tone was different in the beginning. I was reflective, philosophical.

Then the s*** hit the fan. Real stuff started happening. Evan confessed to an addiction. For two weeks the blog was all about getting him help. Not all of it, but some, is a pretty decent picture of a co-dependent in action.

Then he went to rehab and I started to do recovery work. The blog is still sometimes reflective and philosophical, but it is often more about the daily anxiety and trauma.

Recently I have had less to write about. I haven't heard from Evan for almost two weeks (which is okay), and I am learning not to worry and stress over him. My mind is occupied with my job, my family, my own recovery.

I write a lot of long emails to my sponsor, and I have thought about posting some of those thought here. Some of it I don't want to share (too private) and some I have been holding back on for a different reason. I was not really clear about it, and then it hit me this morning.

I am not writing a recovery blog.

Such a thing would be interesting for me and maybe for others, and I could even imagine writing such a beast, but that is not what this space is for. This is about doing foster care. Of course I could change that. I could decide that it was about whatever was important to me today, but I don't want to. I want it to stay a blog about doing care.

But how do you write about doing foster care when you are not doing it?

I have been asking myself, how much do I really have to say about foster care right now. The answer is, some, but maybe not a lot. So I suspect that I will be writing a little less for a while. I am going to try to keep this space focused. I am not going to dig for something to write just so that I can post.


  1. I think of almost everything you write as being tied together one way or another.

    A lot or a little, I'll still be around.

  2. Hi, I found my way here through from0to5. Great to find even more foster families out here in the ether.
    We have a private blog that is supposedly about our journey through fostering and adoption and all that, but it very often veers into our job situations, our house hunt, our parenting glees and woes in general.
    It's all part of the whole.

    That said, the reason we started a blog here, publicly, is to have a focus and gather more of a community. But it certainly is hard to focus! Especially when a baby is eating your brain cells!

    Anyway, just wanted to say hi. My partner and I have talked about continuing fostering after we adopt and, perhaps, once we've raised a few teenagers, fostering gay teens. Or just teens in general. Either way, great to read your experiences.


Comments will be open for a little while, then I will be shutting them off. The blog will stay, but I do not want either to moderate comments or leave the blog available to spammers.