And then everything changes

Evan called again last night. He talked a bit more about what he wants to do. The short version is this: he wants to leave the rehab center on the 30th day, which will be right before the local high school's spring break, go on the spring break trip he originally planned, and then come home.

Now the details of the spring break trip are not all that important. Let's just say that it is the sort of thing that would sound like fun to an 18 year old and make his auntie very, very nervous before she knew anything about his drug addiction.

My first response to this was, I am pleased to report, merely, "I don't feel safe with this plan." I still think that that is what I will tell him if/when he calls again this weekend. How to respond to that is Evan's call. He can try to come up with a plan that I feel safe with, or he can do what he wants anyway. My feelings are my business and though I want to communicate them to him, they belong to me.

But I just spent an hour on the phone with my sponser and then I talked with Hubby again.

This is where we both are right now. Going on the spring break trip seems to us likely to undo all the good work he has accomplished at the rehab center. Our rules are still that when he gets back here he may live here as long has his behavior is safe for the family and living here is promoting his eventual independence. The spring break trip greatly endangers his chances of success.

In short -- it is stupid beyond the ability of words to express.

And we are surprisingly okay with that.

I have accepted that I have no control over his stupidity. I have admitted than any attempt to make him behave in a non-stupid way will only result in my insanity and make my life unmanageable.

I would like to believe that there is something that I could do that would help him make better decisions, but I don't think there is.