Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Oh poop

Okay, I don't know what is going to happen but my mind keeps wandering down the various paths trying to anticipate what could happen. I've been wondering about the TPR/Adoption path.

Roland and I still agree that there is not a compelling case for termination, and that we would adopt Gary if he needs to be adopted.

But what if...

I am nervous about how Gary's father might react and what trouble he could cause for us. My worries are not just anxiety. I know enough of his past behavior to know that there is no reason to fear for my safety, but I could easily be subjected to verbal abuse on the phone or in person or have to deal with allegations of abuse or neglect.

Okay, so I can deal with that.

Then it occurred to me...the real problem. The Big One.

I think I would have to have an adoption homestudy, and I am pretty sure that means going through the state classes and getting a state foster care license.


I'm not telling Roland unless and until I am absolutely certain.

Oh the horror.


  1. Ugh, I feel for you on the adoption homestudy. Ick. BUT, you have enough experience and applicable training already that you may be exempt from state classes :) You can include a lot of things as training: doctor's appts, court, therapy, job training, social worker visits, PO visits, books read, internet research.

  2. Our homestudy process wasn't bad; of course the state subcontracts with a private agency to do them. We didn't have any opt out options in our state.

    And having the license doesn't mean that you need to use it.

  3. Hey, most agencies have homestudies done anyway, and some of the private (yet still ok'd by the state) SW's will do independent homestudies for adoption, especially in this type of case. Some SW's specialize in homestudies for "non-traditional" adoptions- kids through private foster care, family placements, not through DHS, independent adoptions, and stepparent adoptions.

    Maybe you can work something like that out instead?

  4. My parents did a homestudy when they adopted, but they refused the compulsory classes.


    I think the Children’s Aid was a little surprised and perplexed, but they figured out a way around it. When faced with experienced parents wanting to adopt hard-to-place kid, they made it work.

  5. In our state we had mandatory classes but they would have been the same classes if we did foster care. Since you do f/c all ready, wouldn't that cover you? It is wild to me how much this varies by state!

  6. Lee,
    That is the way it is now.

    Back in the dark ages when I was licensed by my agency they had their own curriculum. I thinking it was six weeks. The state required almost nothing. Really. It was bad.

    Then a year or two later the state adopted the PRIDE curriculum and our agency decided to use the same. For a while there was a faster version for the already-licensed, but they don't offer that any more.

    So now, if I need a license from the state I will have to go through the whole thing.

    So the question is whether I woud need a state license in order to get a completed home study from the state. I might be able to avoid it. I couldn't if I wanted to be matched with a kid currently in the foster care system because the kids would have to be placed as foster kids until the adoption was complete. Since he is already here maybe I could avoid it.


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