Things about me

So this is inspired by Dawn's meme. I don't normally do meme's, but I thought I would just this once. I'm supposed to come up with sixteen things.

1. When I buy consider buying new furniture I look at it and think, "This will have so much more character after the kids scratch it up." If I can't make myself believe that I don't buy it.

2. My best friend from high school reports that I told her when we were in high school that I wanted to be a professor and I wanted to raise kids from foster care, but that I didn't think I would be able to do both. I do not remember this conversation. (Wait I think I metioned that on this blog once. Oh well.)

3. Roland asked me out because all his friend would tell him about me was that I once asked him if he masturbated. I remember that conversation. The question was rhetorical and followed my exposition on my recently acquired knowledge about the percentage of men and women who claim not to masturbate. I was insisting that that was actually the percentage of people who lie about their sex lives.

4. I went out with Roland because when I went to the library there was someone at every table. I had briefly met him, so I sat there. He asked me what I was reading and I told it was an article arguing that golden mountains had to exist in some sense because we had to refer to them in order to sensibly say sentences like, "golden mountains don't exist." He seemed really interested and we actually talked about it.

5. I did not know that the reason he was interested was that he was curious about the girl who had asked his friend if he masturbated.

6. I took Greek in college because we had to take a foreign language and if you took Spanish, French, or German you had to go to drill in the afternoon and a foreign language major would snap her fingers in your face if you didn't answer quickly enough. Oh, and the only other choice was to take Latin with the football team.

7. I went to my college sight unseen because it had one of the best programs in education for the deaf.

8. I knew I wasn't going to major in any sort of education after two weeks at that college.

9. My first job after college was waitressing at Mr. Omelet. We had to call in orders.

10. I got the best tips because I was mean to people who were mean to me (mean people never leave good tips, but sometimes they will leave apologies) and treated teenagers like royalty (they have no idea how much to tip).

11. I once kept a penny a regular left (an insult to let you know that he didn't forget to tip) and gave it back to him when he came back. I refused to serve him and he sat with nothing at my station until the other waitress asked if I minded if she did.

12. After that he was always nice to me and I brought him his coffee the way he liked it without him needing to order it.

13. My sister has a small scar over her eyebrow that she got because I threw her into her room and she hit a plastic crate. She had to have stitches. Neither of us remembers why I got so angry, but she does remember that I gave her the new giant Barbie head I got for Christmas as an apology. She enjoyed it more than I would have.

14. My vision is so bad that I can't read the big E at the top of the chart without my glasses. (I'm running out of ideas here.)

15. I went to a Unitarian church once and realized that if I wasn't a college professor I would have enjoyed it, but it sort of felt like being at work.

16. When I was in labor with Brian I had considered having him at home (one of my friends was a midwife) but went to the hospital because I wanted to have an epidural. I had done this already, remember. I asked for one but they said that all the anesthesiologists were busy. I kept saying, "Busy? What do you mean they are busy?" At the worst point in labor I made Roland promise to kill all the anesthesiologists. I meant it. He said, "I promise." Then I panicked and said, "But not now! Don't go now!" He was very calm and soothing and kept saying, "I won't go. I'll wait. I will kill all the anesthesiologists after the baby is born ." I think I may have made him promise to murder the child birth instructor since she had said there would be anesthesiologists.