Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Profile re-write?

Someone just sent me an email asking my my identification in my profile as a "birthmom." Given that that word is normally used for women who have child who have been adopted into other families, it has the potential to be confusing.

The profile really hasn't changed since I started the blog almost three years ago, so maybe it is time for a re-write. I didn't really know what to write then, and I am not sure how to change it now.

Anyone got a suggestion for me? I'm not necessarily looking for a replacement for "birthmom." (I could just replace that with "mother by birth"). What would you say to briefly describe me and the blog?

Oh...and the social worker (agency) emailed yesterday to say that she had a meeting with the division head (well, live vice-division head) about what sort of support the agency could offer for guardianship. She didn't tell me just WHEN that appointment was. So this is the official "pursuing" the idea. This "vice director" was Carl's social worker. She is the first person from the agency I met.

I'll let you know. In the meantime, I'm open to suggestions regarding that profile.


  1. interesting. when i first starting reading you, i thought the same. that you were a mother who had lost your child to the american adoption industry. i kept looking for the connection, the explanation and could not find it, and figured it was just your own lingo or something for you are mother to your own biological children that you were blessed to raise.

    i am curious why you would even need a descriptor? why not just mother since 1989? is it to distinguish from foster mother as well?

    frankly I am one of those "birth" moms and I dont even apply that label to myself. i am the mother to three fabulous amazing children. two I got to raise, one I did not.

    i realize others (including my daughter) need those labels to categorize, place me in a hierarchy, but I dont. I am my daughters mother and yes, she has an adoptive mother she calls mom.

    sticky. i know.

  2. The reason I made the distinction between being a foster mom and "mom by birth" is that I write sometimes about the issues related to having biokids and foster kids together (being fair when there are two different sets of rules, preparing biokids for the experience) stuff like that.

    IRL the distinction is rarely relevant. We introduce them all as our kids.

    Anyway, I want the profile to give people a clue about what the blog is about.

  3. How about "procreator". I love that word.

    All of my other ideas are obscenely funny (to me) and you probably aren't going for that :)

  4. I like your profile as is. I think it describes you, and prepares the reader for your blog. I did not think you had "lost" a child when I read it, but then I'm a birth/adoptive/foster mother myself.

  5. Bio mom is what we call it at our house.

  6. I thought you were a 'birth mom' also, meaning you had placed one of your children for adoption. 'Mother by birth' is fine. (does that make sence? I'm getting confused myself)

    Foster is a little different, due to they have a mother already and the mothers rights might not been legally terminated, but up until that point, they only have one mother. But once the mothers rights have been terminated, then she becomes their birthmother/ first mother. Same goes for dads also, birth father/ first father...etc.


Comments will be open for a little while, then I will be shutting them off. The blog will stay, but I do not want either to moderate comments or leave the blog available to spammers.