Friday, December 26, 2008

No Calls

Gary's father did not call Gary, has not called since Gary's birthday.

The agency social worker seems to think the permanency hearing is the most important indication of his father's commitment to his life. Whether he show for that, which she expects he won't, is symbolically important to her. For me the symbolic importance was calling at Christmas. I thought there was only a 50/50 chance, but I did hope. It will still "count" for me if he calls in the next day or so.

I'm not holding my breath.


  1. That just stinks!

  2. :( I hope Gary isn't taking it too hard that his dad didn't call.

  3. Anonymous8:19 PM

    I really feel for Gary.

    Last time I heard from my birthmother was my birthday, too. (August) Even with a loving family, it does stink.

  4. Anonymous4:45 PM

    The sad thing is about foster kids/kids with at least one absentee parent-

    Its not so much that they "take it hard" like a child would who had grown up with consistent love reinforced daily/often. Those kids, who lose parents to fight overseas, disease, sudden business trips, they actually grieve, they pout, they throw fits in anger and disappointment, normal expressions of grief of missing that loved one.

    But kids who are used to being tossed aside, ignored, etc, they just harden up a little bit more. They expected the additional rejection, and aren't necessarily surprised, but the pain translates into another set of bricks for their heart's wall. Another stuffed down bitterness and feeling of not being worthy, that will eventually kill off the lingering sparks of hope that love does exist and that they can attain it. That sense of not being good enough hovers forever, always shading their lives.

    Personally, I wish he could take those bricks he would use to reinforce his heart's wall of protection and instead use them to dent up his sperm donor, uh I mean, "dad"'s car. A much more productive use of bricks, IMO.

    Happy Holidays!

    -Mrs Butter B


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