Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Update on Scotland

Regarding the trip Evan has so far:

  • Applied for a passport and paid to have it expedited so that he can apply for a work visa to the UK
  • Officially told the education specialist at the agency to pull his application for college funding
  • Asked the agency if they will fax to the Scotland house a copy of the criminal background check they did on him last fall*
  • Asked his grandmother if he can live with her when he gets back. She said yes.
  • Called his old employer at the sandwich shop to see if he can get his old job back. He told them that he would only be working until the end of November, but is hoping that they will take him since he is already trained.
  • Started researching credit cards "just in case."

The woman from the agency spoke with Evan on the phone (Evan says she sounds like Mrs. Doubtfire). She is very excited about having Evan but can't officially say anything until she has called the references and received the background check.

Since Evan does not know when he wants to go he is currently planning on buying a one-way ticket. He plans to put aside money to buy a ticket back, but if he doesn't he will have the credit card.

We had another ridiculous conversation the other night where I gave talking him out of it one last try.

"Evan, please think about this. Every job you have got you really thought you were going to like and after you had been there a week you reported that you hated your supervisor, the job, the other workers, and everything."

"Right, and what does that tell you?"

"That it is a bad idea to go to a foreign country where you can get stuck if you hate what you are doing."

"No! That I need to do something different!"

There was more, but that's all I bring myself to re-hash.

I have found begun a place of genuine acceptance. Sure, I would prefer that he went to the technology program in the spring. I think it will be more difficult than he does to go back to school after he gets back. I think he will be homesick and I doubt he will find it as rewarding as he thinks. But as far as emancipation-panic, running-away-from adulthood stunts go, this is relatively sane.

He will do whatever he is going to do, and I will send him letters.

I realized last night that I was getting used to the idea when I had an irresistible urge to pull out the quilting books and start planning the quilt for the next kid. Maybe I will do a log cabin quilt this time. That should go pretty quickly and I may be able to use up a lot of the left-over fabric in storage.

You know: quilting therapy.


*Last year he became a legal adult living in a foster home and so needed a background check. At first they said we didn't need to because there are no younger foster kids in the house, and then I remembered that I do respite care.


  1. No, not another "real-name-alert"... rather a comment on the posting.

    Having read through all or most of the posts on this blog, I'd probably take a different view on the Scotland trip. I think it is a great idea.

    It is very likely that in a foreign country without the support from his foster family, relatives, friends and agency, he will have to fend for himself. He will have to get out of the shit he gets himself into. There won't be anyone to rescue him. He will be forced to get his act together himself. He will be likely to be jolted facing real adult life, into being more responsible. I have a feeling he understands that, understands he requires something like this, and is hoping for it.

    I do think it will be difficult for him, but I also believe it will turn out to be good for him. But then I only know him through this blog... and I often tend to be too optimistic.

    P.S.- I'm extremely flattered to see my name on the Lifeguard list!

  2. I'm glad you are flattered. I was intending to ask and make certain that you didn't like it for some reason. I don't really expect anyone to rescue me... I just really like that you are there.

    And I am hoping that you are right about Scotland. I am on the verge of believing it. I think I will have to convince myself of it in order to let him go.

  3. Beth, I'm impressed that Evan has actually done the work involved to make his adventure a reality. That, in itself, shows some reasonable planning skills. I often get 'wild hairs' about doing different things - but I tend to get more determined than ever when other people infer that I can't do it, or shouldn't do it, because of some lack of ability on my part. Nothing gives me more motive than to prove someone wrong. ;-) I think you're right on the mark about it being a fleeing from adulthood, though. It's hard to feel like you're heading out in to life without a safety net. You're doing a great job!


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