Little things

Oh...I hope he gets a job.

Last night he ate dinner in the living room. An hour later I told him to put his dishes in the dishwasher. He assured me that he would, of course he would. Three hours later I told him to put his dishes in the dishwasher. He said he was sorry that he hadn't done it already, but that he had been really busy (watching TV and talking on the phone), but he would do it in just a second. When I couldn't sleep, got up at midnight and went into the living room, I considered getting him out of bed to put his dishes in the dishwasher, but that seemed a little extreme.

This morning when he got up I told him to put his d*mn dishes in the dishwasher right now. He said, "Okay, okay...I'm going. Geez. You don't have to get so upset. It's not like I left them here to piss you off." However he did take them and put them in the dishwasher.

He just left to go shopping with Hubby. His lunch dishes are in the living room.

Why is it the little things that make my blood pressure rise? Why does it feel like an act of extreme insensitivity? It makes me so much angrier when he tells me, "It's not like I do it to piss you off." I get that he is not plotting to upset me. He is not being malicious, he is being insensitive, thoughtless.

I know what I should do. I have a choice. I can either decide it matters to me and take a couple of minutes out of my life and pick up after him (and everyone else, let's be fair), or I can have some sort of logical consequence for leaving dishes all over the house and then enforce that consequence in a matter-of-fact way.

But part of me thinks, "Why should I have to have a blasted behavior modification plan to get a 19-year-old to put his dishes in the dishwasher after I ask him to do it?"

So I want him to get a job. I want him out of the house. I don't want him to be home every minute that I am home. I want a break.

Yes, I know, my fuse is short because I am dealing with the fact that he is going to be leaving and it is easier to be angry at him than to feel sad. Mostly I have resisted the impulse to get angry over everything, but not today. Today I am out of chocolate and I'm irritable.

Somebody get me a brownie.

Update: After they came back I put my hands on his shoulders and said, "Evan, I want you to get your lunch dishes out of the living room and put them in the dishwasher." He blinked in surprise and said, "Sure. See...was that so hard?" Then he went to the bathroom and then down to the basement to play video games. Of course his lunch dishes are still in the living room.

On the up side they brought back Halloween candy and there is now chocolate in the house.