Accepting Scotland

So Evan reports that his counselor thinks that Scotland is a wonderful idea.

She says that it will be a wonderful experience. It would be a good opportunity and it is a very "AA" kind of thing to do. "And she holds a lot of sway with the rest of you." But then again he thought it was just fine with the director if... oh but that is another story.

Who knows.

In any case he is very excited and very serious. My job as the auntie is to listen, offer unconditional love, give honest feedback and then accept his decision. He expects to leave at the end of November, if he can work out his passport and visa in time.

It seems, by the way, that Hubby, the social worker and I are the only people who have reservations about this. His favorite teacher from his high school in The City, his teacher at the alternative high school, his grandmother, his counselor all think it is a fantastic opportunity which he should not allow to pass. Hubby thinks that he is "listening creatively" again.

I just... it's so bizarre. A few weeks ago he was talking anxiously but happily about going to the technical program. He was thrilled that about living in the dorms. He was clearly nervous, but it was the plan. Now he is talking about passports and visas. He is going to church with grandmother (that is BIG) so he can continue the discussion about moving in with her when he gets back. He should finish high school by the end of October. As soon as he can get the details worked out he will leave.

He imagines himself as the patient, hard-working volunteer making a difference in the world and using the regular four day breaks to see the wonders of Europe. He is beginning to day dream about staying for years, living in a country where he will have the right to get married, where he cannot be fired for being gay.

I think of the things he has done and said over the past six months. I think that if past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior then he will: lecture the chef about how to run a kitchen; complain about the other staffers not working as hard he is; mouth off to to the director; snap at the children for not behaving; and think that the parents are low-class hicks.

I titled this "Accepting Scotland" didn't I? I am. I'm accepting it as one of the things I cannot change.

I most sincerely hope that it works out better than I fear.

next on Evan