Friday, January 02, 2009

Quiet Here

I said I wasn't going to do a New Year's post, but you know, this isn't a bad time to think a bit about Gary and how he has settled in over the past seven months.

He is a sweet kid. When he moved in he was very excited about the possibility of moving in with his dad, though he would say he knew that it wasn't likely to happen. He also had an obsessive need to clean. He still cares more about cleanliness than your average teenage boy, but it has died down somewhat. That doesn't mean that he remembers to tell me when he cleaning supplies are gone instead of just taking mine. He also still goes through supplies at an inexplicable rate. His cleaning is sporadic, mostly timed to the visits of girls.

He has never showed the level of anxiety that most kids go through. I have never felt like he was clingy or monitoring me. I never felt like he was rejecting me, although some things like the not eating with us would have made me feel that way in the past. He doesn't initiate any physical contact, but when I hug him he hugs back hard, which is not something that he did early on.

I do have worrying thoughts about him and girls. He is a codie, which I understand. There is also the whole sex thing, which I struggle with. There is probably a whole post or three to be written about how to talk to teenagers about sex.

For the most part he is so easy to live with that it is easy for me to start believing that I am a super-parent. Remembering Frankie helps with that though. I have some skills, and they are a better match for some kids than for others.


  1. Definitely. A good match is everything, it is just a shame it is so hit and miss with foster care. It would make it so much better if there were enough foster parents to take the time to make good matches. So glad it is working out for all of you!

  2. I'm with Jo. I wish it were possible to easily make good matches between foster parents and children. I wonder if anyone has ever thought about how to do that (accepting that the system is woefully short on resources to accomplish such an ideal)...

    I would love to read your thoughts on how to talk with foster children (heck, any children) about sex. That would be some wonderfully practical information!

  3. LOL I cannot believe its been 7 months! Doesn't seem possible. Time sure flies.

    I think they ought to use the same software that they use for online dating sites- something proven (?!) like they advertise on tv all the time, what's it called?

    Heck, its gotta be better than the current "uh, we've got a kid, who's open? ok out of those 5 open homes, I don't like her because she knows my neighbor, I don't like him because he's single, not sure about them, do you think they're really "roommates?" well, she doesn't turn paperwork in on time alll the time, well, let's use the new girl!" system that exists right now.

    Of course, the gov't would have to invest a little cash to purchase the software, but I still think it would work, after all, TV SAYS IT WORKS!!!!


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