Thursday, September 18, 2008

Thank You FAScinated! (updated)

So...Brian's school called. "Brian is having a really hard day. He says his brother is about to leave?"

"Yes. He's going off to college on Saturday."

"Well, his English teacher brought him up here. He's crying and wants to go home. I thought maybe he could talk to you."

So we talk. I have this moment of anxiety...knowing that the school doesn't want a crying kid on their hands, but also that if I let him come home for this it will encourage more of these calls. He does need to learn how to cope. I know it is hard, but he needs to develop the skills. What to say? What to say?

And suddenly I remember a post or posts that Kari (aka FAScinated) wrote about helping Adam get through a school day. And I sure hope I am crediting the right blogger. If I am not, I hope the blogger who wrote this identifies herself. I can't find the specific post. Go read the whole blog.

"I hear you're having a hard time."


"I know this is really hard for you."

"Yeah." He tells me about how he can't stop thinking about Andrew leaving and he starts crying and then he can't do anything.

"What is your next class?"


"Tell me what you are doing in science." He talks about measurement. I also ask about English. Turns out that class was sitting and reading.

"Well, it sounds like science is a class that is more distracting."


"How about this: you put all this sadness out of your mind just for one class. Just go to science and tell yourself that you just have to do that class. When it is over, if you want, you can call me again."

He agrees it is a good plan! We talk a while longer. I ask him about the other classes he has and we rate their "distraction capacity." We agree that he can keep calling me, and that if he makes it through the whole day, I will have Andrew pick him up after school and he won't have to take the bus. (We don't talk about how the bus has a zero ability to distract him.) I talk to the people in the office. They say they will talk to his English teacher about helping him to stay distracted for the rest of English.

And right about now he should be heading off to science.

I'll let you know if he calls again.

And if anyone bumps into Andrew, tell him to answer his cell phone so I can tell him he is picking up his brother after school.

Update: School is out in less than an hour, and Brian did not call back. I did get in touch with Andrew and he agreed to get his brother, which was good seeing as how I already promised. I called Andrew back to ask if he remembered that the school moved and where it was. He didn't ... but he does now.


  1. You're right, it's Kari. I remember the story!

  2. I love it when a plan comes together!

  3. That worked well.

    Slugger tries to come home a lot, too. Luckily, the school has been wonderfully cooperative and they agree that if we let him get away with it, he'll just try to do it more.

  4. We have the same problem with Little Man. I really can't "let him win" and have him come home, afraid of what it might encourage. But then I feel bad that he is doing poorly, and well, you know how it goes.
    You are such a good mom. Good thinking.


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