Saturday, September 27, 2008

He called me "Mom"

Okay...he referred to me as "mom," but it was still pretty cool.

He was on the phone and he said something to me and then said into the phone, "Sorry, I was talking to my mom."

As long-time readers know, we suggest to the kids that they consider us an aunt and uncle. I tend to think that is a better model for foster parents of teens. It is less emotionally charged. The expectations of relationship are more reasonable. If you live with your aunt you may develop a very close relationship, but there is nothing wrong if you are just like each other. It also generally makes explaining things easier at school, because they don't really have to explain at all. People ask why they have moved to a new school and they can give just part of the truth, "I moved in with my aunt and uncle because..[insert part of story here]" If we are aunt and uncle there is no awkward explanation when the kid talks about the other mom and dad. There are all sorts of reasons why it makes sense. So that is what we do.

But that didn't mean that I didn't feel a little thrill when he referred to me as his mom.

1 comment:

  1. I would imagine, for a kid who has been essentially forgotten or discarded by their birth family, it might be hard to rationale calling a mom figure by anything other than mom.

    I mean, if all you wanted was to be forgiven and to be a part of a normal family, and you were smart enough to realize that didn't look likely with your birth family, and you didn't suffer from some mental illness causing you to be deluded into thinking a magic fairy was going to fix the birth family, and you suddenly found yourself amidst a wonderful, loving, normal family who treated you just like their own boys, wouldn't you start to transfer your hopes and desires and affection towards said family?

    Not to put the proverbial cart before the horse, but are you prepared for him WANTING to be adopted by you? Its kinda like picking baby names, better to have an idea in your head of a boy name (even if you're due with a girl) than to be in the delivery room with the little ballsie sucker looking at you crying and you going"uh uh Hi, Annabelle, I mean, uh, uh, crud, what do I call you?"

    I'm glad he's so settled so quickly.

    Out of curiousity, how are the other boys handling the new addition? I know you've talked about Brian & Andrew and I think Evan, but what about the others? Do they like having a new bro?


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