Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thanksgiving thoughts

It looks like a quiet Thanksgiving for us.

I invited David, but he did not call last night, so he probably has other plans. That is okay.

Carl of course is in another state.

Evan is spending most of the day with teenage sister and the extended family on her side.

The usual adult "strays" who have had a standing invitation here also have plans elsewhere (which is good and healthy). One is coming tomorrow to eat left-overs with us.

So it looks like it will be just the four of us. Last year I think there were ten. It is okay, we have been tired, or I have been, and a day spent quietly will be good. Today we will just eat and relax and eat some more. Today I will not pull a child aside and say, "Hey -- you know you can feel whatever you feel, right? For a lot of people Thanksgiving brings up bad memories. If you feel sad, that's okay."

Thanksgiving has never been so traumatic for Evan as for many of the kids in care. He spent most of them at grandma's, as he will today.

Our meal shows the influence of doing care. There are all the things that we normally do, plus whatever the current kid finds essential. This year Evan has made us stuffing just like his grandma does it (extra wet and gooey) and a banana cream pie no one will eat but him. When David was here I believe we had to have some chocolate pudding pie dessert. Carl introduced the kids to crescent rolls from the refrigerator section of the grocery store, and they insist upon those now. Carl also always wanted that nasty green bean casserole (my apologies if you are a fan), but that did not stick.

Hubby took Andrew and Brian out for errands and a fast food dinner last night (Evan was at work and I got three hours alone in the house -- Woo Hoo!). He asked them about doing care and if they wanted a break. He reports that they are ready and willing -- as long as the next kid is closer to Brian's age than Andrew's. Andrew wants to be older than the next kid and Brian wants someone who won't leave soon.

Guess we will be looking for a fourteen-year-old.

When I think about the next kid I always find myself remembering that that kid already exists. He (or even she) is somewhere right now -- an unstable birth home, a foster home which will not be permanent, the youth shelter -- somewhere. I do not let the thought make me crazy, but like Margaret, this morning I am also thinking about the empty chair and (in my case) the teenager who will sit in it.

So today I will also say a prayer for all the kids who are not yet in their permanent homes, and I will be thankful for the empty chairs waiting for them.


  1. That's a better way of thinking of it, Beth. I really got myself stuck in a self-pity mode for a while yesterday.

  2. I've been sending out Baggage's post about Little Wishes to as many people as I think might circulate it.

    Not much but maybe it will help.

    You don't like green bean casserole?

    I'm surprised that I do. I ate it the first time at an NA potluck I'd gone to with Carol. Made it ever since. My Tim loves it. The girls are on your side.


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